She Let Go ~

581284_10152137623761388_2066602050_n

SHE LET GO ~

She let go. Without a thought or a word, she let go.

She let go of the fear.

She let go of the judgments.

She let go of the confluence of opinions swarming around her head.

She let go of the committee of indecision within her.

She let go of all the ‘right’ reasons.

Wholly and completely, without hesitation or worry, she just let go.

She didn’t ask anyone for advice.

She didn’t read a book on how to let go.

She didn’t search the scriptures.

She just let go.

She let go of all of the memories that held her back.

She let go of all of the anxiety that kept her from moving forward.

She let go of the planning and all of the calculations about how to do it just right.

She didn’t promise to let go.

She didn’t journal about it.

She didn’t write the projected date in her Day-Timer.

She made no public announcement and put no ad in the paper.

She didn’t check the weather report or read her daily horoscope.

She just let go.

She didn’t analyze whether she should let go.

She didn’t call her friends to discuss the matter.

She didn’t do a five-step Spiritual Mind Treatment.

She didn’t call the prayer line.

She didn’t utter one word.

She just let go.

No one was around when it happened.

There was no applause or congratulations.

No one thanked her or praised her.

No one noticed a thing.

Like a leaf falling from a tree, she just let go.

There was no effort.

There was no struggle.

It wasn’t good and it wasn’t bad.

It was what it was, and it is just that.

In the space of letting go, she let it all be.

A small smile came over her face.

A light breeze blew through her.

And the sun and the moon shone forevermore…

 

~ Rev. Safire Rose

Opening to Love~

1ahh

My dear proud brother,
I know why you’ve always struggled to truly, fully love every woman you’ve ever wanted to truly, fully love.
I know why every romance you’ve ever indulged in for more than a sweet, fleeting moment soon threatened to overwhelm you.

I know why you still sometimes feel the urge to run from the burdens of relationship toward the promise of freedom in quiet, faraway hills where no woman will ever find you—and why you may be tempted to stay there forever.

I also know why you always return to her…and why you always will.
Because you’re not just merely a man; you’re a goddamn warrior for Love.
Deep in the marrow of your masculine core, you know you didn’t come here to play safe and pass time, simply scoring goals and notches on your bed post, or making money and fragile monuments to your pride.

Hell, no.

You came here to throw down with life, to get bloody and muddy earth all over your soul, as you charge gallantly each day beyond the edges of your hard-earned comfort zone.

You are wise, ancient stardust sculpted into mighty earth come alive. You are a volcano with a hot molten heart at your core, risen to offer your authentic love even in the face of forces that would overwhelm lesser men.
I know what’s been asked of you in this lifetime isn’t easy.

But if you’re ready to claim your birth-right as a King amongst Kings, a heart-centred warrior-protector of the planet and all things true and good and beautiful, then it’s time you learn how to love a wild woman in her deliciously untameable fullness.

And you are ready to love all of her, because you’re a goddamn warrior.
I know your fathers and brothers and schoolyard playmates warned you to be wary of her. Through stern faces masking an ignorance they dare not confess, they insisted that the emotions and tears and unpredictable extremes of a feminine heart have no place in the productive, rational world of a “real man.”

Either flee or subdue the unpredictable heart of any woman in your midst, they cautioned, lest her raw power snap all your straight lines, ruin your portfolio and mercilessly break your fragile grip on sanity.

But you don’t buy that bullshit anymore.

Oh, I know you still tremble at the thought of her fiery Kali spirit unleashed like a hurricane in your world. You’ve been gutted and wrecked countless times by awful perversions of love. Too many women in their own fear and immaturity have assigned you the Mission Impossible task of making them happy and then tried to hang you when you failed.

Your psyche has been so badly burnt you can barely imagine anymore the woman who would inspire your devotion.

Fortunately, my good man, all that agony was just warrior boot camp.
Every chaotic, heart-wrenching love affair only served to bleed out the immature and wounded parts of you that would otherwise overthrow your Kingly heart.

You didn’t know it, but life has been preparing you for what’s about to happen: your unconditional surrender to a dazzling love that will sweep through you like a wildfire at dawn.

When she arrives, this love will finally teach you how to breathe through your heart down your spine and into your balls so you can stand full and courageous before the fire-breathing dragons life will never stop sending at you.

Naturally, your woman will train you with your own dragons, the ones still lurking in your shadows. She will know exactly where to find them and which spells turn them against you. She’ll delight in casting those spells, too, but only because she revels in watching you, with hungry, primal eyes, claim your mastery.

For that’s her greatest gift to you: mastery in devotion to love.
She will send those dragons after you whenever she doubts your commitment—not your commitment to her little tyrant ego’s selfish demands. No, she’s done her deep inner work enough to know we didn’t come to serve that scavenger dog.

It’s your commitment to love’s will that she wants to trust deeply. That’s the only way she’ll know you won’t abandon her and run for the hills when her own dragons get loose and try to set your hair on fire.

Oh, it’s gonna be spectacular, my brother!

For this journey of devotion is your awakening to the massive truth of who you already are: love, itself!

So give up once and for all using women’s healing energy to fill the goddess-size hole that ages of patriarchy ripped out of your heart.

Stop trying to shrink women into cute, manageable little pets who ask so little of you, and who you can easily love and accept. That just turns them into not enough for your daring soul, anyway.

You don’t need some passive sex-toy with an off-switch that you keep in the closet. You need a spirited sorceress singing shaman songs beside you as you sharpen your sword for battle, because you’re a goddamn warrior, after all.

You’re ready for the sacred quest to love all of her.

She will serve you well on this journey, for this one likes to run with the wild things. She will shine like bright starlight in your eyes and dance like fire to light your way home to your true self.

But it’s only her courage to offer you the fullness of her feminine soul, from her rage to her radiance, that will truly help you navigate deeper into the mystical realms of devotion. No timid woman will ever do for a true warrior.

Your muse is looking for you, my brother, and she’ll probably show up all smiley and sweet-scented. But make no mistake: she will be the best teacher of unconditional love you have ever known.

I suggest you leave your armour behind for this quest. Protecting yourself will only keep away what you most deeply desire, anyway.

Learning to love all of her will require you leave everything behind, actually, except your own authentic heart.

For she’s aching for nothing less than your true authentic heart to step up and boldly claim the untold treasures buried deep within her own.~

~ Bryan Reeves

http://www.facebook.com/bryanreevesofficial

Depth~

1sc

“If you fall with a man who is afraid of going into depth, then really you are afraid of going into depth – that’s why you have chosen the man.

We always choose the person according to our innermost characteristics.

We always fall in love with a person because our mind only allows that.
I have heard about a man who divorced eight times, and again and again was surprised that he always found the same type of woman. And eight times he tried – he tried hard! What more can you do? After each one or two years, he divorced the woman, started looking, and was very alert that he should never fall in the same trap, but again, after six months, eight months, he would find a woman…. For a few days things would go okay… and then the same rut, and he would see that he had again found the same type of woman.

After eight marriages he became aware of the fact that “The real problem is with my type. Only THESE women appeal to me, and unless I change my type, just changing the woman is not going to help.”

You have a certain type of mind; for that mind a certain type of man or woman looks appealing. And you will find him or her again and again – unless you change.

Why did you choose this man? You can choose the dangerous kind – if you want to go really deep.

And EVERYBODY IS afraid of going deep – because in depth is death, because every depth relaxes you so much that it looks like death. Every depth takes you out of the ego. That’s why people are afraid of love. They hanker for relationship, but they are afraid of love.

And a love which is open-ended creates more fear – because one never knows where it is going to land you. To remain open-ended, to remain in love without creating a relationship, takes real courage. And if you have that courage, love will come in a thousand and one ways, will sing a thousand and one songs in your heart, will dance in a thousand and one ways in your being.”

~ Osho – Book: Walk Without Feet Fly Without Wings and Think Without Mind

art: Richard MacDonald

Emotional Intelligence and Intimacy~

1j

Emotional Intelligence and Intimacy~

Intimacy is often times mistaken for physical closeness: hugging, cuddling, kissing, sex. However, if there is no emotional intimacy, as in emotional relating and a feeling of safety in a relationship, then physical intimacy can only go that far.

For many people, physical intimacy comes easier than emotional intimacy. For others it is the other way around. Often times people avoid emotional intimacy by focusing on physical intimacy, using sex to buffer up their vulnerability. But in order to truly open up to a partner and go deep, we need to feel safe and be able to share emotional intimacy, our fears, mistakes, and pains and receive each other with compassion and empathy.

In order to be emotional intimate with a partner we need to be able to be intimate with ourselves, feeling our vulnerability without judgment and developing healthy self-love. If we are not comfortable with our own vulnerability, we cannot receive the vulnerability of another person fully and emotional intimacy is blocked. No matter how hot the sex and how great physical intimacy is, if we don’t develop or have emotional intimacy and the safety to express ourselves that way, a relationship can go only so far.

We need safety and healthy boundaries in order to establish intimacy on all levels. This safety is more than just feeling “secure” and boundaries don’t mean rejection or avoidance. It is about taking care of ourselves. Our body gives us constantly clues about what is safe for us and what not. The more we are in touch with our bodies, the more we can receive these messages which also puts us in touch with our vulnerability. It’s important to listen to these bodily sensations which go deeper than just sexual feelings. Most often they are buried under layers of “armor”. It’s easy to rationalize these deeper sensations away, judging ourselves for not opening up when it doesn’t feel safe. Don’t listen to the mind, trust your body and don’t judge yourself for however you feel.

Emotional intimacy goes hand in hand with trust, knowing that we can be completely ourselves with all our vulnerability and always be received with compassion and empathy in a safe container by a partner. But before we can receive another person like that ourselves, or even express ourselves that way, we must be able to to be compassionate with ourselves and love ourselves, the dark and light, neither inflating or diminishing ourselves.

Otherwise we will keep looking for the illusory partner, who never comes and whom we want to be a certain way, when in fact this is what we need to give to ourselves first. Sometimes we’re looking for a “savior” in a partner unconsciously but it is a projection of what we have denied or avoided to give ourselves: healthy self-love, vulnerability and inner safety. Before we can develop deeper trust with a partner, we need to be able to trust ourselves and the deeper clues our bodies are giving us.

Living in a world with ever increasing technology and computerization we have become more and more disconnected from our bodies. We stare at a computer screen more than ever before, professionally or at home. We are glued to our smartphones. Children spend more time on play-stations, TV, and computers than playing outside. We have become desensitized and are not aware of how we hold and carry ourselves and how every day life affects our bodies and overall health.

Most of us are so out of touch with our bodies that we don’t even sense these messages which could help us to make wiser decisions and choices. Our rational mind tends to over-ride the more subtle impressions of the body, the gut feeling, and the energetic clues that are perceived by the body. We may sense some tension in our bodies when something or someone feels off but tend to ignore it, getting stuck in our head and our thoughts. Mainstream education doesn’t teach us about body awareness and how to listen to our intuition and gut-feelings. We reward intellectual intelligence but have forgotten emotional intelligence and the intelligence of the body.

There are many ways to get in touch with our bodies (Bodywork, Yoga, Dance, Qi Gong, Tai Qi, to name a few…) in order to increase self-awareness and sensitivity to the energetic clues of our environment as well as release energy blocks, stress and trauma that is manifested in our bodies from our past and through daily living. A healthy body-mind is the foundation for good health and relationships: physical, emotional, and mental.

“Take care of your body with steadfast fidelity. The soul must see through these eyes alone, and if they are dim, the whole world is clouded.”
~ Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe

~ Bernhard Guenther

http://wakeup-world.com/…/emotional-intelligence-and-intim…/

art: Mauro Colombo

She wants to feel you as Shiva~

“Every moment of your life is either a test or a celebration. The same is true about every moment with your woman, only doubly so. Not only is her simple existence a test for you, but one of her deepest pleasures in intimacy is testing you, and then feeling you are not moved off course by her challenge.

The most erotic moment for a woman is feeling that you are Shiva, the divine masculine: unperturbable, totally loving, fully present, and all-pervading. She cannot move you, because you already are what you are, with or without her. She cannot scare you away, because you already penetrate her in fearless love, pervading her heart and body. She cannot distract you, because your one-pointed commitment to truth will not bend to her wiles. Feeling this hugeness of love and freedom in you, she can trust you, utterly, and surrender her testing in celebration of love.

Until she wants to feel you as Shiva again. And then the testing will begin anew. In fact, it is precisely when you are most Shiva-like that she will most test you.”

~David Deida

Dear Woman~

1925349_767163800023117_5270928399684988983_n

“Dear Woman:

I come to you today as a man committed to becoming more conscious in every way. I feel deep love, great respect and a growing sense of worship for the gifts of the feminine. I also feel deep sorrow about the destructive actions of the unconscious masculine in the past and present. I want to apologise to you and make amends for those actions, in order to bring forth a new era of co-creation with you.

As I become more conscious, I grow more aware of the play of masculine and feminine energies: within me, within you and in all of life. I know that we all have access to the full spectrum of these energies. I also have a growing awakening to the dimension beyond all dualities, free and open as the sky.

I commit to owning and stewarding a masculinity that honours and celebrates us as equals. I know that in order to truly honor you as a multi-dimensional woman, I must stand fully present in myself, and own the gifts I have to share with you. We can create great miracles together by nurturing each other in a conscious way, by treating each other with reverence and respect, and by worshiping the divinity expressed in both masculine and feminine energy.

As men, our relationship to the feminine has often been unconscious. I feel sorrow that women and feminine energy have been for so long subjugated and oppressed. Throughout history, men have raped and abused you, burned you at the stake, bought and sold your bodies for sexual pleasure, barred you from religious and political office, relegated you to subservient chores, forced you to hide your faces and even cut off your organs of sexual pleasure.

I may not have done these things myself, but I am aware of the forces in the unconscious masculine psyche that feel threatened by and then seek to dominate the feminine. Many of the men who have oppressed or abused you are no longer alive. Among the living, many men may be unable to apologise because they remain shackled in a prison of anger, fear and shame. On behalf of my gender, I apologize to you for our unconscious actions when we were angry, scared and in the grip of destructive forces in our psyche. I choose no longer to contribute to those forces, nor to be run by them in my own life. I offer you this apology in hopes that we can make a fresh start in a spirit of co-creation.

I acknowledge that the religions of the past several thousand years have been mainly founded by and propagated by men. We have often acted as if we have the last word on God and the spiritual life, when all we have really known is the masculine expression of those things. As a result, we have suppressed more heartfelt, connective and inclusive spiritualities. I commit now to also honoring the spirituality of the divine feminine.

I honour your deep connection to the earth. As men, our relationship to our planet and its resources has often been motivated by competition, acquisition and domination. We mistakenly believed that expansion would protect us from encroachment, and in the process we violated the sanctity of the Earth and disturbed its natural rhythms. I commit to listening to the intuitive sense you have of how to heal our planet and make it thrive.

I honour your intuition and your profound capacity for feeling. As men, we have often devalued feeling and intuition in favor of a view dominated by data and logic. This way of being seemed necessary to move humanity beyond superstition and animalism, but in the process we lost much of the heart of life. I commit to respecting the arts of feeling, intuition and wisdom of the feminine heart, so that together we can integrate them into a balanced view of life, that honors and includes all wisdoms.

I honour the beauty and integrity of your body. When we nurture each other through our bodies with awareness and devotion, there are no boundaries to the love that we can generate. I feel sorrow that men have used your beauty as a form of commerce in prostitution and pornography. In the grip of lust we have often lacked the skills to ask gracefully for intimacy or to take ‘No’ for an answer. I take a stand against any form of enforced or soulless commercialization of woman’s beauty, and I respect that your body belongs to you.

I honour your capacity for peaceful resolution of conflicts, your ability to apologize effectively and forgive with grace. We men have waged endless wars over our disagreements. In the act of defending our lands and protecting our families, we became addicted to the fight itself. By contrast, it is rare to find an invasion or war instigated by a woman. I apologize for dragging you into these wars, and for the rape, murder, broken hearts and damaged families that resulted from them. We welcome your wisdom in creating a world that can get along without resorting to destruction.

I honour your capacity to listen to your body and its needs for food, rest and playtime. I celebrate your ability to pay attention to what is here, right now. As men, our preoccupation with goals and results often has burnt us out and made us unavailable for relationship. I know we have drawn you into this imbalance as well, so often frustrating your longing to connect. The time for a process-centred way of being is now upon us. I welcome your wisdom to maintain balance in our bodies, and in our ways of meeting.

I honour your sense of compassionate justice. In our justice system, men have dominated as judges and police, build prisons and revered the principle of punishment. I welcome you to work with us in bringing the return of the heart to our system of justice.

I also know that global economics have been dominated by the unconscious masculine, often living in a sense of lack and greed. As a result, many people have been left impoverished and disempowered. With your natural sense of nurturing and abundance, I know we can work together to create a truly caring global economics.

In apologising to you for the hurts we men have caused you, I acknowledge that I and many of my brothers have also felt hurt by our mothers, our sisters, our partners and ex-partners. As a conscious man I am willing to feel those hurts fully within myself and release them. I forgive you for any ways you may have acted unconsciously, as I forgive myself and my gender for our own waking sleep.

From this day, moving forward, I vow to treat your heart as the sacred temple it is, and I commit to honoring the feminine in you and me and in my relationship to all life. I know that by leaving the past behind and joining hands in the present, we can create a synergy of our strengths. Together, there is nothing we cannot do.

Together, we can make miracles.”
~Based on the “Manifesto for Conscious Men,” a collectively-written document from a number of men who feel deep appreciation for the gifts of the feminine as a balance to those of the masculine.

Conscious Sex ~

15492375_1291795750894319_8637423554926687770_n

If men understood the value of a well fucked woman they would have no choice but to prioritise their sexual evolution.

If you understood that having a well fucked woman on your side was the formula to succeeding in life, in every realm and every kingdom it would become your religion.

Religiously giving her everything you’ve got, on your knees thrusting in prayer, hymns flowing from her hips to her lips a gospel choir conducted by your conductor, symphonies as sweet as an angels breath written by your caress.

Taking her deeper than the material, the mundane, the physical, undressing her body mind and soul, she is your ticket to success.

The most valuable asset you could ever invest in, your embodied evolution, your sexual consciousness.

She will ooze all over your existence , lusciously dripping warm and melting, lubricating your life, the ease within your flow, the lakshmi to your abundance, the magic behind your power.

A moisturised life, gleaming in the glory of her erotically charged radiance,

The remedy to your everything, a slathered on saviour, the coconut oil of the human variety.

Apply liberally.

Her creative energy that you have assisted in its activation, stirred up within her cauldron, will birth your every dream into reality.

Your conscious cock is like a wizards wand, interacting with her magic to manifest,  co-creating a new world with every breath, pulse and moan.

You have the power to be the god she calls her own. Taking her to heights most holy upon sweaty sheets.

You can be the moon to her tides, eclipsing her preoccupation with the mind.

You can blow the wind into her sails and lift her up high to explore the oceans of the skies, the power in your body vibrating, attuned, refined.

Divorcing her from unconsciousness & reuniting her with the divine, helping her become clarified.

Taking her into timeless trance states where her body lay beneath your own, yet her psyche is in another dimensional time zone, reciting the lyrics straight from gods kiss, a lyrical psychic physicist, delivering wisdom straight from creations mind back in her body for dinner time.

You can be a part of miracles like that on the daily if you desire.

When you heal one of us you heal us all.

Conscious sex is medicine and we are all suffering from our unfilled prescriptions.

We have become diseased from a lack of connection, from ourselves, from each other, from the earth, from the feminine.

Now is time for our reclamation.

If you are into transformation and ignoring your sexuality you are sorely mistaken, our evolution relies on our full bodied and soul integration.~

~Alana Louise May

 

Excerpts from: http://alanalouisemay.com/blog/2016/12/14/conscious-cock-is-medicine

I Want You ~

tumblr_nft9w1aaky1tzgyv4o1_500

I want the dangerous-ness of a love so ripe, it transforms every cell of my body.

Subtle, careful, half-hearted loves need not apply.

I want a love that’s as real as the dirt beneath my toes, as glorious as the mossy forest floor, as beautiful as a plump, blushing strawberry.

I want a love that’s ready to get his hands muddy and bare his whole goddamn heart.

I crave a love that’s beautiful because its raw, unpeeled and unafraid of its own roarin’ intensity.

I’m tired of dipping my toes timidly into love’s waters—I want to swim in it, to bask in it—I want it to surround me like a cloud of just-opened wildflowers, like fireworks, like a thrashing ocean of honey.

And love, I want you—

To challenge me.

Lead me right out of my comfort zone,

Rip my bullsh*t to bits,

Look me right in the goddamn eyes,

Water the thirsty buds in my soul with the wild thunderstorms of your beautiful heart.

Drink me up like a cherry-vanilla smoothie

And light me on f*cking fire with your smile.

No half measures, no tiptoeing around the truth, no timid mind games—

Come on, let’s do this—for real.

Subtle, careful, half-hearted loves need not apply.

Don’t hold back.

Take my hand, pull me close, embrace me—not carefully, not subtly—touch me confidently, intentionally, playfully.

Your hand tightly woven in mine, your lips tasting my lips, your fingers stirring the dusty strings of my heart,

My head resting on your neck as we sit on the emerald forest floor,

Our feet sopping wet with dew, laughing ’til the sun tucks itself behind the trees.

Don’t hold back.

Make love to me with the loud passionate bangs of a trombone.

Don’t hold back—

Why ever would you hold back?

Holding back is exhausting, it’s too calculated—it’s bullsh*t.

Don’t hold back.

Tell me everything that’s running through your mind.

Crash on my shores like waves, spill onto my skin, reach into my soul like a vine.

I’ll go off in your arms like a firework—I’ll bloom in your presence like a wild rose.

I want you—

All of you.

Every drop of your presence is required.

I won’t accept anything less.

Don’t hold back.

Take me to Jupiter with that mysterious glint in your eyes,

Let’s land on the edge of the crescent moon, as our bodies dance in glorious ecstasy together.

Let’s inhale together…and exhale,

Together—

Our chests rising and falling to the drumming dance of our excited heartbeats, as we soak up the glistening rays of the afternoon sun filtered through the majestic evergreens.

Don’t hold back.

Kiss me like you mean it—kiss me like you could die tomorrow.

And I’ll look into your eyes like you’re the most fascinating story in the world,

Because you are.

So let’s write this chapter, together—let’s weave these words like ivy and craft them into the budding love of a lifetime.

And let this love scare the sh*t out of us, let it set us madly on fire, let it shake us down to the juicy core

Let this love be the love that slaps us awake

And makes us question

Every damn thing

We thought

Was real.

I want you—all of you.

Every last drop of your presence is required,

I won’t accept anything less.

Don’t hold back.

Subtle, careful, half-hearted loves need not apply.

I want the dangerousness of a love so ripe, it transforms every cell of my body.

~Sarah Harvey

http://www.elephantjournal.com/2016/03/dont-hold-back-poem/

 

Image may contain: one or more people and close-up

Essence of Touch~

c2ece2b4a46523d4b98fe005d62d8465

Our bodies are built for connection. Not just a casual hug or hand on the shoulder.

We’re built to thrive on love, and intimate touch is a natural physical manifestation of love. And by intimate touch I mean the kind that says ‘I’m right here, fully present with you, in this moment,’ rather than intimacy which is just about genital contact. It’s an intimacy which can be shared with anyone we love, not just sexual partners. Studies have shown that the cells in our bodies expand when they feel love and contract when they feel its opposite, and our ability to use our touch to transmit that energy to another is an innate gift which we all carry.

Reawakening that ability for loving touch can be one of the simplest and most beautiful gifts to ourselves and our loved ones. At its most basic, just showing up and being willing to touch someone with the intention of bringing healing or love can be a comforting experience for another. And sometimes it’s as easy as that. We may shy away from placing soothing hands on an aching back or stroking a tense head, thinking drugs or a doctor are more efficient, or not wanting to spend the time. Surprisingly, though, it can be all that’s needed to shift a mood, lighten discomfort, or unlock a deeper emotional layer that’s ready to be cleared. More importantly, touch connects people and increases that sense of trust and love in the world in a way that doctors and drugs struggle to do.

In essence, reclaiming our ability to lovingly touch another—whether child, friend or lover—can be as straightforward as practicing the following four qualities. The more often we practice them, the deeper our touch can go.

In essence, reclaiming our ability to lovingly touch another—whether child, friend or lover—can be as straightforward as practicing the following four qualities. The more often we practice them, the deeper our touch can go.

~Clear intention. Be clear about why you want to touch another and stay focused on that intention. Are you intending to create a sense of well-being? Or pleasure? Or comfort? Whatever it is, be clear in your mind about it before you start. As an experiment, ask a friend to close their eyes and try two variations of the same touch—stroke their arm once while thinking of your favorite movie and then a second time while intending that they feel your love. Then ask if they noticed any difference.

~Love. It sounds simple to say ‘love the one you’re with’ but it’s not always that easy to access a feeling of love for someone at the drop of a hat. So find another way in to the energy—twiddle that internal dial until you find that feeling of love somewhere inside (try music, or the face of a lover, or the memory of a warm summer’s day). Use your mind or senses to find a catalyst that can bring you back to a deep feeling of love, then refocus the energy on the person you’re with.

~Presence. You can’t hear what another’s body is trying to say to you if your mind is busy, so bring that mind fully into the moment! Focus on the sensation of touch, or on synchronizing your breathing with the person you’re touching, if you need to have something to keep the mind busy with. Being present brings a stillness, and intuition reaches us through that stillness.

~Trust. Trust that you can bring a sense of well-being and love to another by touching them. Trust that somewhere deep inside, you know how and where to touch them. Then follow your instincts, get on with it and see where it leads you.

Feelings of pleasure and well-being aren’t just for the lucky one who’s being touched, either.

The beauty of feeling another opening under your touch and discovering the depths that can be hidden in the body brings with it a deeper connection to the mysteries of life as well as a sense of profound gratitude for this simple gift.~

~ Freya Watson

Tantric Lingam Massage~

d2ec9bb9f950755092d673ab072a3120-1

In Tantra, the penis is called the Lingam, which in Sanskrit can be translated as “Wand of Light.” A big part of Sacred Sexuality is learning to love the penis and not be afraid of it.

In Tantra, we connect with our partner on a personal level. We also connect with the universal sexual chi or energy that is in our partner’s body as an energetic life force. One way to do this is through the lingam massage. Yes, this is a fancy name for a hand job. But it’s done with more thoughtfulness, respect, care, and desire to bring selfless pleasure to your partner.

Unlike your average hand job, the lingam massage involves not only massaging and stroking the penis but can also incorporate more advanced techniques, including the testicles, perineum, and the Sacred Spot (aka the prostate) as well.

Lingam is the Sanskrit word for penis and loosely translates to “wand of light.” In Tantra philosophy, we approach the lingam, or penis, from a place of the utmost love and respect, the same way we approach the yoni, or vagina. By bringing a partner pleasure through his “wand of light,” we are filled with that same energy or light in a conscious exchange of energy in giving and receiving pleasure.

Lingam massage is a practice that truly honors a man. We do it to give him pleasure. There is also a tremendous amount of sexual energy or chi in a man’s penis. Learning how to stimulate and circulate it is very powerful.

When I went to India to study Tantra and yoga, I was shocked at first to see statues of the Shiva lingam that represented the God Shiva. For most people, it represents a state of meditation. But for ancient Tantric practitioners, this held a secret meaning: that this powerful God energy was in the man’s body but especially in the penis, which contains the most masculine essence concentrated in one place.

So, to truly have sacred sex, you need to approach the man’s body as a temple and his penis as the most holy place of all.

This isn’t about having one orgasm and being done. Instead, it’s about trying to feel more and more pleasure that will become waves of multiple orgasms throughout the massage.

Here’s how to perform a lingam penis massage on your partner.

For men who want to use this for sacred practice for masturbation and energy cultivation, follow the same instructions yourself.

1. Get him relaxed.

Have your partner lie on his back wherever he is most comfortable. He might like a pillow under his head and/or under his hips. His legs should be spread apart with his knees bent, so you have easy access to all parts of his genitalia. Remind him to breathe deeply. This will assist in a deeper relaxation.

2. Remember to breathe.

Breathing is what separates Tantra from regular sex. While you give your partner the lingam massage, remember to breathe the Bliss Breath: to receive his energy of arousal and pleasure on the inhale and send him loving energy on the exhale.

This special breathing will bring you three benefits:

1. You’ll have a deeper feeling of worship or meditation and mindfulness.

2. It will make you more empathetic to his thoughts and feelings.

3. It will heighten your sexual intuition—you’ll be more aware of what your partner wants without him having to ask.

3. Encourage your partner to breathe deeply.

Before you start the lingam massage, tune into your partner by engaging in the bliss breath together. Just taking a few breaths at the same time will put you both at ease and match your bio-rhythms. While you give him the massage, keep reminding him to breathe deeply, relax, and receive all the good feelings.

4. Lubricate and massage around the penis.

Use your favorite massage oil (I prefer coconut oil because it smells yummy) to oil the shaft of the penis and his testicles. Start by sliding your hands up and down his thighs before getting to the good stuff. This will also make him feel more relaxed. Compliment him on something you like about what you’re seeing and touching.

Move onto the testicles. Gently, slowly massage them. You can use your fingernails gently on his testicles, or pull them slightly. You can also cup them in your hands and fondle them in the palm of your hand.

Massage the area around his testicles and penis (i.e., the pubic bone in the front, the inner part of his thighs, and his perineum—or taint—which is the area between the testicles and the anus).

Be careful with the balls. Men differ greatly as to the kind of touch they like. Some men are more sensitive or ticklish than others. It’s OK to ask him how he likes them touched before you start, or even as you start fondling them.

5. Massage the shaft.

Once you’ve teased the areas around the penis and he’s clearly wanting more, move to the shaft of the penis. Vary your grip from harder to lighter. Vary your stroke sequences between straight up and down and a twisting motion.

Vary the action from one hand to two hands. When using just one hand, alternate between using the right hand and the left hand.

Vary the speed from slow to fast. Start slowly and build up to a faster pace, then take it back to a slow speed again. Keep alternating the pressure, speed, rhythm, and methods.

Also, alternate the shaft strokes to start from the root of the shaft all the way up to the head. Once at the head, you can either continue the straight up and down motion, or you can do the twist—going from the root of the shaft and stopping just below the tip of the penis.

Variety is the key here.

When using two hands, you can do it a few different ways:

1. Both hands hold the penis in the same direction with the fingers pointing the same way.

2. One hand holds the penis facing one way and the other hand faces the other way.

3. Both hands move up and down at the same time. Oil is your friend here. It helps create a smoother, gliding motion.

4. The bottom hand moves up and down while the top hand does a swirling/twisting action at the tip of the penis.

6. Don’t let him climax. Keep him at the edge of orgasm.

By now, he might be very worked up and might want to come. If you are paying close attention to his breathing, how his body is moving, and his moaning, you should be able to predict if he’s nearing orgasm.

When you see him at that edge, pull back on what you’re doing, or just slow it down and remind him to breathe and ride the wave of orgasmic feelings he’s experiencing.

He might go from being rock hard to semi-hard. Don’t worry. That’s what’s supposed to happen.

7. Stimulate the sacred spot externally.

The Sacred Spot is the prostate, which is a walnut-size gland located between the bladder and the penis. When stimulated properly, it is very pleasurable for men.

You can access the prostate either internally (by inserting your fingers or a prostate massage sex toy into the anus) or externally (through massaging the outside without penetration).

If your man isn’t experienced with prostate massage, start externally. To find the sacred spot, look for an indentation somewhere between the size of a pea and a walnut midway between the testicles and the anus. Push gently inward. Be careful to go slowly and let him guide you in terms of pressure.

When you hit the right spot, massage it by pushing in with your fingers or knuckles, then backing off and pushing in again. You can also use a circular massage motion. If he’s especially hairy, use more oil so you can get to the area more easily. Or better yet, ask him if you can shave him for easier access.

8. Stimulate the sacred spot internally.

Ask your man if he’s interested in taking the prostate massage to the next level with an internal massage. If he’s game, you’ll want to loosen up his anus with massage oil. Start by massaging the outside of the anus with your fingers in a slow, smooth, and gentle circular motion. Don’t insert a finger without his permission. Ask if he’s ready for more.

If he is ready for insertion, make sure his anus and your fingers are oiled up. Make sure your nails don’t have any jagged edges. Start by inserting just the tip of one finger at first. Wiggle it back and forth to loosen him up. Once he’s comfortable with that, you can insert your finger(s) more deeply, as the prostate is about 2 to 3 inches inside the anus, closer to the anterior wall of the rectum.

Once there, you can gently caress it by moving your finger from side to side, up and down, or “milking” it with a come hither motion with your finger(s). Ask him how he’s doing as you go. Let him lead.

Prostate massage can sometimes be difficult to do with fingers, which is why so many sex toy companies now sell prostate massagers that you can use when you’re ready to take it to the next level.

9. End the massage.

To end the massage, you can allow him to climax with an ejaculation orgasm or move onto intercourse. If he is practicing semen retention, you can have him hold all his juices as he learns to transmute the orgasm from the genitals into whole body energy orgasms.~

~Psalm Isadora
http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-25591/yes-men-can-have-multiple-orgasms-heres-the-tantric-technique-thatll-make-it.html