Passionate and erotic sex is exhilarating, fascinating and can lead to a deeper bond between lovers.
Sexual bliss can ease the pressures of daily life. It is also a powerful way for couples to engage with one another to achieve intimate, powerful and deeply satisfying connection.
Sex is not just about the physical act; it’s also a highly emotional interaction that can keep love alive and relationships happy and healthy.
Here are a few ways we can enhance desire, intensify passion and elevate sexual energy:
1. Start foreplay hours before. Naughty text messaging, leaving notes around, seductive phone calls or flirting and teasing during the day can heighten tensions and lead to wild and passionate sex in the evening.
2. Put your head in the right place. And I don’t mean physically! Meditate for a few moments beforehand, clear the mind of clutter, let go of all thoughts and set an intention for an authentic, committed, present connection.
3. Synchronise breathing. Lie next to one another face to face. As one deeply inhales the other exhales so the same air is circulating through each other. This not only synchronises the rhythm between both partners for a higher physical connection; it also strengthens emotional engagement.
4. Focus only on kissing. Kissing is all too often traded in due to other parts of the body taking priority. Forget touching or even thinking about any other body parts until things become so heated that it is difficult to keep control.
5. Touch sensitive nerves. The inner thigh has one of the most explosive nerves in the body. Add a little pressure to it by touching, tracing or kissing it to tease and move upwards.
6. Masturbation. Reminding your body of how it likes to be touched will help to stay tuned with what feels good. It will also make it easier to explain to a partner what you desire. Try masturbating alone, or together, showing one another alternative ways to enhance pleasure.
7. Create a luxurious feel to the bedroom. Invest in sheets that are high quality and that feel smooth and sensual. Ensure pillows are plentiful as they can make great props and supports for the body during sex. Decorate your room in colours to create a seductive and passionate setting.
8. Dress and undress passionately. We can all take a little extra care when thinking about dressing and undressing in the bedroom. Choose sexy underwear that feels and looks good and that will add an edge of naughtiness to making love. Dress up in a role play outfit and head into fantasy land, or wear an outfit that flatters and enhances your shape. Take time undressing, or passionately unpeel clothes from one another. Keep your mind only on the other person, how they look, how they feel, how much thought is going into the seduction and allow it to add to the pleasure of the foreplay, paying attention to every detail.
9. Take dessert to bed. Any tasty, not too sticky treats will add pleasure to oral seduction. Drip or slowly smooth onto parts of the body then lick, suck or kiss it off.
10. Blindfold. As soon as we lose one sense, our other senses heighten to compensate. Placing a blindfold on one or even both partners ensures that other senses such as touch and smell are elevated. Smell is one of the most powerful aphrodisiacs so prepare to be fresh and clean, and add a touch of a favourite perfume or aftershave or light scented candles and incense.
11. Try something new. Keep sex exciting by regularly trying something new in the bedroom. Either by using props or toys such as handcuffs, a vibrator or blindfolds, or watch a soft porn movie together. Read sections of an erotic book to one another or have sex in places you normally wouldn’t. It won’t matter how subtle or drastic the change, just doing things a little differently will spice things up.
12. Talk dirty. It doesn’t even have to be dirty; just whispering to one another whilst making love can be enough to heighten the connection and desire. Talking through what feels good, what the bodies are craving and whether more or less pressure or movement is welcomed can be a huge turn on for couples. And of course, talking dirty can also add to the eroticism if desired.
13. Experiment with different lubricants. Each brand will have a slightly different texture to it and will give an added thrill to foreplay and sex. They are also available in so many different flavours that it’s very easy to find one that is highly enjoyable. Some people will enjoy a lot of lubricant, others may prefer very little. Talk openly about what feels good, smells good and tastes good.
14. Fantasise. Together, or alone—whatever works. Sharing fantasies can be highly erotic. Talking through and even acting out something that both partners feel comfortable with and turned on by is one way to ensure temperatures are raised to their highest levels.
15. Eye contact. Sustaining eye contact can be hugely erotic for both partners. At first the use of eye contact can make people feel uncomfortable, so it can be easier to start using it for short periods of time and gradually building it up. Using eye contact increases connection and helps the other person feel attractive. Engaging in eye contact during oral sex is also a huge turn on for many couples. If eye to eye contact is too intense, use mirrors to watch one another from a slight distance or just watch certain parts of the body and eye contact may begin to feel more natural.
16. Delay pleasure. Raise the vibrations high, almost to orgasm, then slow right back down. If this is repeated a few times before eventually reaching orgasm, it can lead to a far more powerful and pleasurable climax.
17. Eat the right foods. Sharing a meal together is intimate in itself; however, sharing the right food together can lead to increased desire and more pleasurable sex. Foods such as chocolate, bananas, oysters, chilli peppers, pomegranates, oatmeal, garlic, ginger and honey can all boost sex hormones.
18. New positions. Often the same few positions are repeated again and again. A little research on the Internet or reading from a book on techniques can add inspiration. Or, using the imagination and a bit of trial and error can be a more fun and adventurous way to explore one another. Don’t be afraid: if one position isn’t working for both partners, just move back to something more enjoyable. If new positions aren’t working, try new places to have sex.
19. Take time. Completely forget about the destination and enjoy only the journey. Focus on what feels good in each moment. Keep the mind present and notice each touch, movement, breath and feel how much pressure is being used with each body part. Pay particular attention to how the bodies feel, pressed together naked and filled with desire. Listen to everything that the other body is saying, how it moves, what is pleasurable, when to slow down and when to speed up. Keep nudging your mind back to the present. Take away all pressure of orgasm, leaving only responsibility to enjoy each other fully, completely naked, intimately connected and entirely engaged.
20. Confidence. One of the sexiest things we can do for a passionate sex life is to build confidence. And the good thing about it is it can happen immediately. If it helps, adjust the lighting to a low setting or use candles. Play music in the background choosing beats with a slow and deep rhythm. Then try a few mantras and repeat them with conviction: ‘I am gorgeous/beautiful/handsome’; ‘I am desirable’; ‘I am passionate’; ‘I love my body and enjoy how it feels’; ‘I am seductive.’ Find what works and repeat it until negative thoughts diminish. Any time low confidence re-appears, drown it out with positive mantras until they sink in.
When we’re engaged not only physically but also emotionally during sex, we reach our highest potential for pleasure.
Recognizing that sex is an act involving our entire mind, body and soul ups our capacity to achieve a tantric experience with a mind-blowing expression.~~
~Alex Sandra Myles