“If you fall with a man who is afraid of going into depth, then really you are afraid of going into depth – that’s why you have chosen the man.
We always choose the person according to our innermost characteristics.
We always fall in love with a person because our mind only allows that.
I have heard about a man who divorced eight times, and again and again was surprised that he always found the same type of woman. And eight times he tried – he tried hard! What more can you do? After each one or two years, he divorced the woman, started looking, and was very alert that he should never fall in the same trap, but again, after six months, eight months, he would find a woman…. For a few days things would go okay… and then the same rut, and he would see that he had again found the same type of woman.
After eight marriages he became aware of the fact that “The real problem is with my type. Only THESE women appeal to me, and unless I change my type, just changing the woman is not going to help.”
You have a certain type of mind; for that mind a certain type of man or woman looks appealing. And you will find him or her again and again – unless you change.
Why did you choose this man? You can choose the dangerous kind – if you want to go really deep.
And EVERYBODY IS afraid of going deep – because in depth is death, because every depth relaxes you so much that it looks like death. Every depth takes you out of the ego. That’s why people are afraid of love. They hanker for relationship, but they are afraid of love.
And a love which is open-ended creates more fear – because one never knows where it is going to land you. To remain open-ended, to remain in love without creating a relationship, takes real courage. And if you have that courage, love will come in a thousand and one ways, will sing a thousand and one songs in your heart, will dance in a thousand and one ways in your being.”
~ Osho – Book: Walk Without Feet Fly Without Wings and Think Without Mind
art: Richard MacDonald