So You’ve Found an Evolved Man~~

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So You’ve Found an Evolved Man~~
For eight years I’ve been calling in a life partner…

Why did it take me so long? Because I was searching for the elusive “evolved man” – a mythical creature that exists in the dreamy minds of Goddess-type women who preach atop sparkly pedestals claiming they are not “being met” by the men they are currently dating.

I desired a partner who is remarkable, like me. And I would not settle for less until I found “him”… a man who is dedicated to a path of personal evolution, has a high vision of the life he wishes to live, and lives into it every day.

Yeah right, like I am perfect and evolved!

But I AM capable and willing to do “the work” to be a better human, so I figured my mate should be the same way.

What the heck is an “evolved man”, anyways?

1. A man who has conquered his own emotional, spiritual and personal growth work and takes responsibility for his life.

2. A man who is true to his word, takes action and lives with integrity.

3. A man who loves himself so much that he cares for his body, his health, his finances, his home and keeps all aspects of his life in tip top shape.

4. A man who has mastered the fine skills of energetic lovemaking, meditation, yoga, ecstatic dance and can give me orgasms with one glance of his eyes.

5. A man who has “done the work” to be a better person and has his diplomas from The Good Men Project, Landmark, Tony Robbins, and Deepak Chopra on the wall to prove it.

Well guess what, ladies. Once you find a man like this, you better be scared shitless. Here’s why:

1. No matter how many Ester-Hicks affirmations you have posted on your bathroom mirror, in the presence of a remarkable evolved man ALL your emotional, spiritual and personal baggage will climb out from the dark corners of your mind. There is no space in this relationship for you to fall back on old stories of how you were once done wrong by an “un-evolved man” in the past. Be prepared for your personal shit to be stirred and smeared on your holy mirror and accept that only YOU are responsible for how you will respond to your “triggers”. He will hold you accountable and will not settle for your emotional, self-righteous rants.

2. It’s easy to make a list of all the ways YOU think you are impeccable with your word, but an evolved man will hold a mirror to your soul and reveal all your blind spots. If he says he will pick you up at 8pm, he will show up on time – while you are still in the bathroom sticking just a few more sparkle bindis on your forehead, which means YOU are late. You complain that your car needs an oil change and post on Facebook that you are “manifesting a mechanic who will trade for crystals”, while he is already under the hood getting it done. You have a dusty vision board on your wall with photos of dreams you wish to achieve, while he is busy making shit happen. Time to step it up!

3. Sure, I generally eat healthy (with a daily side of wine and cheese) and somehow get my rent paid at the end of each month, but am I really living up to my fullest potential? I desired a man who is stable and wealthy, in tip top shape, cooks gourmet farmers market organic meals every night and lives in my future dream home that I would eventually move into and make our own… while I was frankly broke, flabby, living in a ghetto apartment and eating In-n-Out Burgers on Wednesday nights in front of the TV. When you meet your dream man, prepare to start scrambling to clean up your life!

4. My previous boyfriend didn’t know a lick of yoga, thought chakras were bullshit, and spent his days stalking hippies on the internet to prove their motivational message memes were wrong. This left me doing my Tantra yoga poses and prayer circles on my own, and we eventually broke up because he wasn’t “spiritual enough”. Then enters Mr. Evolved Man who gets up at the crack of dawn every single fucking morning to meditate, hits Bikram three times a week, and can run circles around you doing handstands while you are still sipping on your Starbucks after your once a month ecstatic dance class. Wiping the dust out of your eyes, you begrudgingly buy that unlimited monthly pass card for the yoga studio down the street so you can keep up with him.

5. You boast that you were a keynote speaker at Lightning in a Bottle last year at the Yoga Dome. You don’t need any more self-help diplomas, YOU are the expert now! In the meantime HE is a student of life, always learning, always growing, always seeking new inspiration and perspective from his mentors because he knows that NOT KNOWING is a place of power. He accepts that he is a work in progress and loves you just the way you are… then signs you up for a year of Landmark education that kicks your spiritual ass to the ground.

Yes, you may think you have the upper hand as a Goddess-type woman who is already “evolved”, because a lot of “dudes” out there still don’t get it. But until you accept that you have tons to learn from someone else and that their life accomplishments are amazingly different than your own, you will never be met.

There is no such thing as an “evolved man”!

Look instead for someone who is in the process of “evolv-ING” – and when you find him take his hand that is reaching for yours, step off your damn pedestal and climb up the steep road of life together as partners who can support one another along the way.

And if you are not scared shitless, you are doing it wrong.~

~Scarlet Armor

http://www.scarletamor.com/evolved-man/

Listen to Your Heart~

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Listen with your heart~

Infatuation is easy, intimacy is hard. In the middle of a disagreement, so many people wait for their turn to speak, instead of really listening to their partner. Years of history can bubble to the surface in an instant.

The need to be right can be deafening and blinding, and sometimes people dig their heels in so deeply there’s no hope for honest communication. As if it’s a fight, and their partner is their opponent, and the object is to win.

But a relationship is not a game, and there are no winners when you and the person you love are in pain. You protect your ego, or you protect the relationship. If you want to truly love, that requires your vulnerability, and it takes guts to be naked like that.

So many people confuse love with control and manipulation. But love is about acceptance and a celebration. That doesn’t mean there won’t be things to work on, because of course there will. It just means that you see people as they are, and you accept them and celebrate them, while also loving yourself.

If you keep nurturing a real connection, doing those things simultaneously, that is, loving your partner and also making sure you’re honouring yourself will be natural.

There’s so much beauty in true partnership, but it takes effort. For whatever reason, that part doesn’t get covered in the fairy tales or the romantic comedies.~

~Ally Hamilton

Excerpt from: http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-11265/the-3-biggest-downfalls-of-romantic-relationships-how-to-avoid-them.html

 

 

Returning to Wholeness~

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Divine Feminine/ Earthly Mother ~ Returning to Wholeness~~

The Divine Feminine is represented in many things. It is the energy on earth known as the teacher, the inspirer, the place where things are born into creation, the receptive and intuitive place within, the earth. The Divine Feminine is not whole without the Divine Masculine, as the Divine Masculine is not whole without the Divine Feminine. We can see this teaching by looking at our bodies, our bodies which are direct and individual representations of the earthly mother. The matter which is the earthly mother awaits the infusion of the Heavenly Father, as the Heavenly Father awaits the inspiration of the earthly mother.

When one infuses the other there is creation. This teaching can be seen at so many levels. I will give you some examples, but this writing is only to inspire you, so that you can then go and look for this in nature, in life, in everything. Let us use the human body as our first representation of the divine feminine/earthly mother. The human body is made of the earth, it is made of matter. But it is not a creation until it is infused with spirit, with action, with the divine masculine. When one unites with the other, it becomes whole. Now let’s see this from another perspective, the human body as Divine Feminine, is not whole and healthy unless one takes action (the Divine Masculine) upon it. The body is waiting and receptive to action.

When we can infuse and feed the body with right action, the purest form of Divine Masculine, which can be exercise, organic foods, pure water, natural settings, the earthly mother that is your body thrives because it has been infused with its other half, and therefore is seen in its wholeness. Now we can take this to a micro level within the body. The egg, waiting and receptive, to the action and infusion from the sperm. Without one or the other there is no creation. The mother is our teacher, truly. She is where we find all Truth, the truth of nature, the truth of creation. In nature we will find the answers to how to live our lives. We cannot rely on the tainted perceptions of old teachings that have been warped with personal agenda. Instead we must look to our true mother. She is found in all of nature, for nature is the most pure and untainted form of creation, this is where we can find teachings of balance and Truth. She is here to inspire us, and it is our job to be inspired and take her teachings and put them into action. When this happens true creation comes from this wholeness.

As we can see, the divine feminine, earthly mother has been rejected and repressed for a while. It is our duty as evolving human beings to start to look to her, in every aspect of creation to teach us things and inspire us. In nature, in earth, in intuition, in women. This is where creation has been rejected and that is why there has been an imbalance. But things are shifting, and the earthly mother is no longer willing to be ignored. She wants to be loved, accepted, treated with respect and honor. I feel this desire even within my own self, being a physical representation of her my self, her energy is bubbling to the surface, and by writing I am taking action to birth her teaching into creation.

I will continue to write about these things and how they are represented in different aspects of life so that we may all learn from her and learn how to utilize these energies to create. There is so much to be said and it is so hard to put into words. We must learn to be silent, and receptive like her, to gain her teachings.

Where is the divine feminine in your life waiting to be infused with the divine masculine? What is waiting and receptive, full of inspiration, that needs to be made whole with action and energy? This is not a teaching on just the divine feminine, but on become whole within ourselves again. When this happens we can then become whole in our relationships, families, communities, and eventually globally. But first, start with your Self.

~Courtney Marie Schmidt

art: Andrew Gonzalez

The Empowered Woman~

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What does the empowered woman feel like? I know we have used this word empowered quite a bit over the past few years. But for me this word conveys an energy that I like. To feel empowered is for me to feel powerful from within. It truly describes the feminine way of power.

Our essential feminine power comes from our core, our sexual centre, our yoni. For men it resides in the hara or dantien, the solar plexis. You see the most potent force that women have is our shakti. Our primal life force, sexual creative energy. This force resides in all of us, but for women it is what in many ways defines us.

It is this primal energy from our sex centre, the second chakra, (that point just above the pelvic bone) that enables us to create life, to be wild and free as well as docile, harmonious and calm. Our sexual energy is our true feminine power as it is here that the creation of life begins and the mystery of our body is held.

Our sexual energy entices, allures, fascinates, radiates and attracts both men and women. When a woman is fully embodying her sexual essence, she is her most empowered self. She walks with the grace of one who is confident, centred, serene, present, sensual and fully in her body. She is not afraid of her sexual energy or of the power this energy has over other people. She understands her power and is able to use it wisely, with compassion and integrity.

Since she no longer needs to manipulate or control with her sexual energy or survive on it, she can be authentically herself, her full embodied goddess self. She is proud of her womanliness, her yoni her breasts her hips her belly and all of her curves. She revels in her body and loves all of it no matter what shape it is.

It is from this place that she creates and offers her gifts, and it is from this place that she partners with man. A woman who is fully living in her feminine power is naturally radiant, receptive, yet strong from within herself. This woman lives in you and me and I invite you to discover her.

~ Luminessa Enjara

http://www.examiner.com/article/the-true-power-of-a-woman

art: Jarah Leopard

Revisiting Old Flames~

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Is it wise to revisit old flames from the past?

There is a practice out in the world that many of us consciously or sub-consciously do, and that is re-dating or reconnecting with old flames.

So what is re-dating/reconnecting? Re-dating or reconnecting is revisiting or “dating” someone you have been in a past relationship with. I’ve heard from many people that once a relationship is over, it is best to move forward and never look back. However, who can honestly predict their own future? Who can honestly predict what road they will wind up down in the future? Or situations that may present themselves to us?

Why do so many of us close the door on old flames from the past and lock the doors? Why do we do this when we have so much more to share and learn from them.

I’ve also heard to this phenomena referred to as the “saved by the bell” syndrome. Zack chases Kelly, Zack gets Kelly, then they break up only to date again…and then inevitably beak up again. Then, their paths even cross in college and they date! (Spoiler: they get married too.)

First, let me state that I am a firm believer in re-dating/reconnecting.

I feel by the responses of my friends and reactions from others that this is not a popular notion. So why do I so firmly stand behind this notion? It’s simple. When you reconnect with someone from your past, you already have that basis of chemistry, which, in random encounters with new people is much more difficult to find or navigate through.

You tend to open up more quickly and more deeply, and there is already some semblance of a foundation of trust. (Assuming the initial break up or drifting apart had nothing to do with trust issues.) There is a season and a reason for everything. Fire burns for a reason. It may be tempered but it never fully goes out.

Recently, I reconnected with an old flame as she was searching on social media for people to help her move. I had not spoken to her in a few years, and I decided “what the hell, I’m not busy that particular day and it would be interesting to catch up with her afterwards for a bit.” This eventually lead to one of the most amazing eight months of my life.

When we first met, we were in high school, we dated off and on for about a year and after high school our paths would occasionally cross randomly for short periods of time but we never got serious. We both are “wandering souls.” She is one of a few that I have had similar experiences with. We would randomly pop up in each other’s lives for obscure reasons, and connect for a bit, share for a bit, be intimate for a bit, and then move back on.

However, this one in particular most recently touched my soul deeper than any human had ever touched my soul in the 34 years I have been on this earth.

We talked every day. For hours on hours. Learning new aspects of our lives, sharing experiences we have been through over the time that lapsed since we last connected. We travelled together, she took me out of the country for the first time to a beautiful island in Mexico, Isla Mujeres, and I got my first passport stamp!

She taught me how to experience life through her eyes. Her eyes are beautiful. Her eyes are beautiful not just because of their appearance, because of what she sees. She preaches self-improvement, she pushes people to be honourable, to never settle and find meaning in your life. To live extreme, or “intensely” as she puts it. To learn something new each day, to let go of mistakes made when the day is done, to happy, but to be helpful, honest, loyal…in a nutshell, to be virtuous. To live a full filling life by finding happiness and by finding your true place in this world.

I’ve known this old flame for almost 20 years, and in all that time, I overlooked many of her views her views. Or she simply had not the life experience during those previous encounters to pass on her lessons to me. Luckily, I caught them this time around.

I helped her learn how to let her guard down and be soft and sexy again. I helped her rediscover the joys of physical intimacy that she felt she lost over a brief period of time. I helped her rediscover the trust that can be found in companionship and that its ok to let someone else take the wheel for a while. I helped her feel more comfortable taking risks and going with the flow and putting herself out there. I helped push her to be authentic and to loosen the anchors in life that tie us down.

We helped each other when we both needed help. Our souls found each other again and had so much more to offer and share with each other this time around. It’s was the right season and the right reason.

We taught each other a lot of new things from the experiences we gained by our interactions with others and the lives we led in between our paths crossing again. Our flame never extinguished, it just diminished until our paths crossed again this particular time.

These are all new things to me. Had I not said “yes” to helping her move, had I not said “yes” to the idea of reconnecting with this particular old flame, I would have missed out on so many amazing life lessons and life experiences. My soul would never have been touched so softly and intimately. I would have missed out on an amazing, in fact, one of the best emotional, physical and spiritual connection that has been right in front of me this whole time. I can’t speak for her but I know she is happy and knows what she is searching for now, she is in the process of her own new discoveries and experiences.

As with most things in life, our time together had to end. We are souls that wander from place to place, person to person. Our time for this crossing had come to a close.

I am eager to find someone new or to reconnect with someone else from my past and pay it forward to someone else in the same fashion I’m sure my most recent fling’s experiences led her to pay if forward to me. Perhaps our paths will cross again someday and we both will have new lessons to teach each other, and new experiences that we have picked up along our journey to share with each other. Or perhaps we will help each other rediscover the lessons we passed on from our most recent encounter.

Perhaps we are meant to be reminders of the lessons constantly teach each other. Our fire is never meant to extinguish, but to dampen from time to time, only to be reignited when our paths cross again.

I encourage people to keep all doors open. Never close a door for good. There is always some lesson in life to be learned. It may be a harsh truth, a beautiful reality, an experience or even a brutal heart breaking occurrence, but the point is that that is how we learn, that is how we grow, and what better way to learn and to grow than to keep the door open to those who know us best in the first place.

Those who know our strengths and weaknesses and who are in the best position to help us grow. We all must grow on our own, but reconnecting with old flames always carries a learning experience. It could also lead to an amazing experience, one that will catch you off guard and eager to continue on your path or find a new people or other old flames and pay the lessons you just learned forward.

Or maybe your new “reconnection” will be fate and a sign that you were always meant to be together but needed time to grow individually away from each other before that deeper level of connection can be made. I will always keep my door open to those who have shared intimate time with me. There are so many lessons to learn and so many lessons to pass on and I want to give, not deprive myself to any person who has or will cross my path.

I sometimes find myself searching so vigorously for connections in new people that I often forget or overlook that the fiercest fire, the hottest flame has already crossed my path. So often we dodge our old flames and avoid them when we should be open to communication and the possibility of reigniting that old flame, that old passion. There is a season and a reason for everything, and this includes those old flames from our past.

You never know what you might be missing out on by passing up an old flame. They certainly will be a new person with new experiences and lessons to share just as you are a new person with new experience and lessons to share.

I have reconnected with other old flames previously to my most recent experience and some were good, some were bad. Some reminded me how much I enjoyed their company, some reminded me why we diminished our flame in the first place. However, in all the previous encounters, we both learned something new from the other and about the other. Life is all about learning and growing and finding the best people and best ways to connect with people.

Never pour water on a fire that you have started with someone else. Never close the door.

It’s natural to move on and find new connections and share new experiences with new people but remember the lessons learned from your old flames. Keep your fires burning, your souls searching and you may just find that what you’ve been looking and yearning for has been right in front of you this whole time. Or you may learn a lesson from that old flame that helps you connect even more deeply with a new person.~~

~ Adam Wilkinson
http://www.elephantjournal.com/2015/07/the-value-in-re-dating-an-ex/


art: Franz von Stuck

This Time I Want it All~

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“It isn’t about diamonds, fuck the flowers, all she wants is someone to keep her bed warm every night and touch her like it’s agony not too.” ~ J.Rose

I’ve never had someone give me their all~ but this time that is all I will accept.

The thing that I’ve realized is that I’ve never been with someone who has made me one of their priorities ~ and in that process I have poured 200% of myself into the relationship trying to make up for it.

But the actuality is that it never worked. Because one person can’t make up for the emotional or physical distance of another ~ no matter how hard we might try.

The reality is that I accepted less because at the time that was all I thought I was worthy of.

I thought that it was acceptable to be in a marriage where I did everything and got nothing in return.

I believed that it was normal to have men want to fuck me, but not want to give their hearts to me.

In the end, none of these relationships was the fault of my partner at the time ~ it was mine.

I doubted myself and my worthiness of love.

The truth that I realized, long after the fact, was that I didn’t fully love myself ~ and so, I never expected someone else to.

I was 50/50 with my own soul ~ so it seemed only natural to pick of pieces and breadcrumbs from those who tossed their meager offerings my way.

But I never felt truly satisfied ~ even when I felt the transparent shower of happiness from these shallow interactions.

It wasn’t until I was left alone with myself that I realized I was trying to seek outside validation of my own worth from these men.

I was relying on them to make me happy, to make me feel interesting and even depending upon them for the acceptance that I was physically attractive.

I needed to be left alone to realize that everything that I was seeking from others was precisely what I needed to discover within my own heart.

It took a long time to fall in love with myself ~ and to be at a point where I don’t feel the need to apologize for it anymore.
But now, not only do I know who I am and what I want ~ I also know what I deserve.

And this time ~ I want it all

Kate Rose

Love’s Deeper Commitment~

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Let’s not commit to a future together. The future is so unknown, and we are so fluid, and tired of pretending that we know.
Our thoughts and feelings are ever-changing, uncontrollable, like a wild ocean of love.
Our desires wax and wane; our dreams are born and die in every moment.
Let’s not commit to a form of love. The forms are always shifting, like the tides.
We do not need security here. We are not seeking comfort, but Truth.
Let’s make a deeper commitment; one that cannot be broken or lost.
To presence. To meeting in the here-and-now.
To bringing all of ourselves. To knowing, and letting ourselves be known.
To telling the truth, today; knowing that our truth may change tomorrow.
To bowing before each other, even if our hearts are broken and tender.
No promises, no guarantees.
Loving takes courage! Yes!
For love is a field, not a form. Let us commit to the field, remember the field in every moment of our precious days on this Earth.
In ten years’ time, we may still be together. We may have children. We may live together, or live apart.
We may never see each other again. This may be our last day.
If we are honest, we really do not know; not knowing is our Home.
We may be friends, or lovers, or strangers, or family, or we may remain undefined, beyond narrative, our love unable to be captured in words.
Here at the edge of the known, on the line that once divided sanity from madness, and doubt from certainty, we play, we dance, we drink tea, we touch each other, we cry, we laugh, we meet.
We sacrifice comfort and predictability. But what we gain is astonishing: This tremendous sense of being alive. No longer numb to the mysteries of love, the mysteries of our bodies.
A little raw, perhaps. A little shaky. Maybe a little disoriented, but perhaps this is the price of being totally free.
Maybe an old part of us still seeks mommy or daddy, that Magic Person who will never leave, always be there, take away the loneliness repressed in our guts. Loving that frightened part too; bowing to that part too, but no longer being controlled by it.
And they will ask:
What about your future?
What happens if you have children?
How the hell do you define yourselves?
Why are you afraid of commitment?
Why do you run from security? Comfort? Future?
They will say you are crazy, or you don’t understand love, or you are lost, or you are unloving and selfish, and you will smile, and understand their fear, for their fear was once yours, and you cannot abandon your path now.
And nobody has to walk with you. Ever.
At some point, only Truth will satisfy. A living Truth, renewing itself each and every moment, the wild Truth of the open heart.
When Love and Truth are One, when the Commitment is deeply rooted in the breath, we can finally face each other without resentment, and explode into the most melancholy sunsets, held in the most profound joy.
Walking alone, together, alone.

 

Consciously Awake Women LOVE SEX.~

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Consciously Awake Women LOVE SEX.~

Let’s get one thing straight. Women LOVE sex. So, if you ever hear a woman talking about sex like it’s a chore—as if she’d rather vacuum or tidy up the house—she’s having THE WRONG KIND OF SEX.

Contrary to popular belief women are not less sexual than men. We’re wired differently. While many men can get an erection and go from zero to hero in less than five minutes, most women need a whole heck of a lot more than that to feel sexually satisfied. Men, do you want to see your woman’s body convulsing in orgasms? Do you want to hear her screaming roars of ecstasy so loud that the neighbours can hear?

Then listen up: If you want to be the kind of lover that makes your woman never forget you, it’s time to seriously educate yourself on the Art of Sex. This means knowing how to give a woman mind-blowing orgasms—both with your tongue and your, well, Prince Charming.

Women are drawn to capable men who actually care about what they do and how they do it. Have you ever heard the phrase, “You get out what you put in?” It’s true. If you want a good lover, you’ve got to become a good lover yourself. Consciously Awake women need more than physical sex. The physical is only one level. The next level—the level we deeply desire—is energetic. It’s an exploration of connection, energy, passion, and transcendental states. This type of sex is cosmic.

So, if you’re new to the concept of Consciously Awake Sex, I’ll explain quickly. You are more than your physical body. In addition to what you understand as your body (head, arms, feet, organs, etc.), you possess energetic bodies as well. Everyone does. Because of these bodies’ existence, physical sex will only take you so far. It’s surface level with very little depth.

This is the type of sex most everyone is having (if any), as it doesn’t require much skill. Sex is complex. It’s so complex that the idea you know what sex is solely because you can functionally “do it”, leads to mediocre sex. And mediocre sex gets real friggin’ boring after awhile.

This is the type of sex anyone can have. It’s boring. Not everyone has the balls, wherewithal or courage to dive in and learn what it takes to connect energetically with a woman during sex. To experience and explore the depths of another, you have to get beyond the physical and into the other energetic bodies. That’s when you tap into and become the states of ecstasy and pleasure you once thought existed only in dreams.

So, men, if this is what you want: women who crave you sexually and orgasms that shake the walls, then read on. I’m about to hand you the blueprint to what you need to know exactly what Consciously Awake women want sexually from men.

What Consciously Awake Women Want Sexually From Men Emotionally Open Men:

First and foremost: we want, more than anything else in the world, men who live with an open heart. We don’t want men who act like women. We want men who have energy freely flowing through them. Most men are living their lives closed off. And we’ll never be able to experience the energetically connected sex we crave with these types of men. An erection is not enough to make us feel the depth of your energetic being as a man nor connect us to higher planes. We need to feel energy emanating from your body. And this requires you to open your heart. You might be wondering, what the hell does that feel like? It’s electric.

Suddenly we are not just physical bodies anymore. Even though we’re still having a physical experience, we’re also having an energetic experience that expands far beyond our bodies into infinity. Men who are disassociated, depressed, have sexual hang ups, and emotional issues are hard to feel energetically. Although penis size does matter to some degree—especially for women who have caves or tunnels for vaginas—a man, who’s connected to his energy source and his soul, can connect us to the energetic plane.

When two people connect energetically, not just physically, MAGIC happens. Energy pulses and quivers at high vibrational frequencies as it courses through our body making sex a complete body high. Consciously Awake sex transcends basic sex on ALL LEVELS. It’s raw. It’s primal. Men: you must be willing to dive into the fire of your souls. That’s the “how-to” on opening your heart. Therapy and coaching connect you to a deeper purpose. Live from this place.

Passion: Sex is Art A man who has vision sees sex as art. And ladies: you shouldn’t even go out with men who lack vision or creativity. Passionate men cannot be underrated. A man who pursues his desires passionately says far more about him as a lover than you can imagine. We want this type of man. A passionate man who invests himself wholeheartedly into the things he desires to do well.

A passionate lover will have conscious hands. He looks deep into our eyes and connects to every square inch of our bodies. We will feel his energy in his hands. His energy courses its way into our skin, down into our blood, deep into our heart and soul. As a new lover to a woman, you must take time to explore what she (as an individual) wants. Well-trained lovers know she is not like every other woman. They will listen to her pulse, feel the rhythms of her body, and tune-in to her energy.

A man who doesn’t know how to connect to your energetic body cannot produce this level of connection. Connecting energetically requires one to know how to get beyond the surface of physical pleasure into the depth of your being. That kind of access is wooed and seduced, it’s not basic. Men who take pride in the skills they have will take the time, and treat your body like a temple.

These men are the kind of men that understand the alchemy of sexuality. If you are reading this and want to know how to connect to your energy or have Conscious Sex you have to educate yourself in any way possible about this process. There are countless resources online. Don’t just wait for someone to teach you, go figure it out.

Skills: Be the Best Lover You Can Be We have no patience for men who won’t invest their time and resources into understanding what it takes to be an amazing lover. A man who wants to be a good lover will be a good lover. Period. It’s neither mean nor cruel to want our men to be great men and great lovers, especially if we’re doing the work and investing in evolving ourselves. If you want a great lover, you too need to be a great lover.

If you don’t know how, don’t resort to porn. There are too many amazing resources available that will guide you down the rabbit hole of sexuality and love. Seek out what you want to be and experience it fully. All men need to learn how to be good lovers. Remember: knowing how to functionally have sex doesn’t mean you’re a good lover. A true lover is a giver. He also knows how to receive. He explores your body.

He seeks to understand what your body craves. He cares about your pleasure. Reciprocity is the key of being an artful lover. It’s a dance—an exchange of energy that is most balanced in reciprocity.

Variety: Value Different Positions “On top”, missionary, and “from behind” are not the end all-be all of sex. Be creative and adventurous. Learn what your woman loves: which positions work and why. What is she into? If you are adventurous or kinky don’t connect with someone who isn’t. You need to choose lovers that have the same level of openness as you do.

Remember: not all women are created equal. They’re diverse in how they feel. The shape of their vagina will make certain positions more pleasing for some over others. Mix it up. Experiment. Don’t get monotonous. If you have a hard time feeling her out, ASK QUESTIONS. Women like men who know what they are doing. We also like curiosity as it relates to our body.

Touch: Kiss, Feel, Breathe The three golden rules of sex: kiss, feel, and breathe. Kissing is one of the most erotic forms of sexuality and can fuel so much passion between lovers. Kissing alone can unlock energetic bodies. Feel into us. Let us feel your weight and your strength. We aren’t fragile. Let us feel your presence. Breathe. Don’t be in a hurry. Use your breath. Be intentional and connect on a much deeper level. A lot of people don’t have the patience to get beyond the physical. It takes practice and Conscious Awareness to unlock the layers of our bodies we keep blocked most of the time. Kissing, feeling, and breath can help us release the energetic body.

Intimacy: Connected Sex Quickies are fair game… SOME of the time. There’s always a time and a place. But Consciously Awake sex takes time. It takes practice and conditioning. You have to make time. This is sex. And whatever your excuses are for not having it need to disappear if you want to get beyond the mundane. True intimacy is not created while in a hurry. We live in a fast paced world. But that does not extend to us having jack-rabbit-esque speedy sex—or sex that ends with one person busting a nut while the other is left unsatisfied.

In order to connect energetically you have to become intentional with your focus on breath, touch, and kissing. There is healing and sensuality in touch. Don’t be in a hurry. Slowww dowwwwwwwn to get through sex. Let go of the usual focus on achieving orgasm. Slow down. Drop into the ENTIRE EXPERIENCE: the dance, exchange and mixing of energy, the alchemy of two souls aligning in physical ecstasy. Welcome to the realm of energetic and cosmic sex, and the land of multiple orgasms.

Try the Consciously Awake Route. You’ll thank me later. smile emoticon Peace. Love. And LOTS OF HOT CONSCIOUS SEX!

~Kelly Marceau

www.yoganonymous.com/sexy-consciously-awake-women-want-sex/#sthash.xrHRVA5u.dpuf

Holding Space for Someone~

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What does it mean to hold space for someone else? It means that we are willing to walk alongside another person in whatever journey they’re on without judging them, making them feel inadequate, trying to fix them, or trying to impact the outcome. When we hold space for other people, we open our hearts, offer unconditional support, and let go of judgement and control.

Sometimes we find ourselves holding space for people while they hold space for others. It’s virtually impossible to be a strong space holder unless we have others who will hold space for us. Even the strongest leaders, coaches, nurses, etc., need to know that there are some people with whom they can be vulnerable and weak without fear of being judged.

To truly support people in their own growth, transformation, grief, etc., we can’t do it by taking their power away (ie. trying to fix their problems), shaming them (ie. implying that they should know more than they do), or overwhelming them (ie. giving them more information than they’re ready for). We have to be prepared to step to the side so that they can make their own choices, offer them unconditional love and support, give gentle guidance when it’s needed, and make them feel safe even when they make mistakes.

Holding space is not something that’s exclusive to facilitators, coaches, or palliative care nurses. It is something that ALL of us can do for each other – for our partners, children, friends, neighbours, and even strangers who strike up conversations as we’re riding the bus to work.

~Give people permission to trust their own intuition and wisdom.
Give people only as much information as they can handle. Ann gave us some simple instructions and left us with a few handouts, but did not overwhelm us with far more than we could process in our tender time of grief. Too much information would have left us feeling incompetent and unworthy.

~Don’t take their power away. When we take decision-making power out of people’s hands, we leave them feeling useless and incompetent. There may be some times when we need to step in and make hard decisions for other people (ie. when they’re dealing with an addiction and an intervention feels like the only thing that will save them), but in almost every other case, people need the autonomy to make their own choices (even our children).

~Keep your own ego out of it. This is a big one. We all get caught in that trap now and then – when we begin to believe that someone else’s success is dependent on our intervention, or when we think that their failure reflects poorly on us, or when we’re convinced that whatever emotions they choose to unload on us are about us instead of them.

~Make them feel safe enough to fail. When people are learning, growing, or going through grief or transition, they are bound to make some mistakes along the way. When we, as their space holders, withhold judgement and shame, we offer them the opportunity to reach inside themselves to find the courage to take risks and the resilience to keep going even when they fail. When we let them know that failure is simply a part of the journey and not the end of the world, they’ll spend less time beating themselves up for it and more time learning from their mistakes.

~Give guidance and help with humility and thoughtfulness. A wise space holder knows when to withhold guidance (ie. when it makes a person feel foolish and inadequate) and when to offer it gently (ie. when a person asks for it or is too lost to know what to ask for). Recognizing the areas in which they feel most vulnerable and incapable and offering the right kind of help without shaming them takes practice and humility.

~Create a container for complex emotions, fear, trauma, etc. When people feel that they are held in a deeper way than they are used to, they feel safe enough to allow complex emotions to surface that might normally remain hidden. Someone who is practiced at holding space knows that this can happen and will be prepared to hold it in a gentle, supportive, and nonjudgmental way.

~Allow them to make different decisions and to have different experiences than you would. Holding space is about respecting each person’s differences and recognizing that those differences may lead to them making choices that we would not make. Sometimes, for example, they make choices based on cultural norms that we can’t understand from within our own experience. When we hold space, we release control and we honour differences. Holding space is not something that we can master overnight, or that can be adequately addressed in a list of tips like the ones I’ve just given. It’s a complex practice that evolves as we practice it, and it is unique to each person and each situation.

Excerpts from: http://heatherplett.com/2015/03/hold-space/

art: http://uneflaneuse.deviantart.com/…/Mater-T-Pater-U-3764212…

The Sanctuary of Relationships~

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When we reveal ourselves to our partner and find that this brings healing rather than harm, we make an important discovery ~ that intimate relationship can provide a sanctuary from the world of facades, a sacred space where we can be ourselves, as we are. This kind of unmasking ~ speaking our truth, sharing our inner struggles, and revealing our raw edges ~ is a sacred activity, which allows two souls to meet and touch more deeply.

~ John Welwood

New Earth relationships will be so different to the relationships you now have. They will be gentler and more playful and yet wise. There will be less intensity and drama, and more caring, nurturing and companionship.

You will come to realise that the purpose of relationship, all relationship, is to “relate” – to share and to support and to nurture from your own sense of abundance and completeness.

You will look for relationships that are spiritual and heart-based, rather than physical and emotional. In the Old Earth relationship paradigm, relationships were based on physical attraction and emotional bonding.

In the New earth, your relationships will be based in the heart, in feelings, compassion, connection and mutual respect and support.

We for-see many relationships growing between people of different age groups and different cultures, relationships that will be deep and meaningful, and yet would not have seemed possible before because of the narrow limitations of what you considered a relationship to be in your Old Earth energy framework.

These relationships will be light and joyous, and yet capable of real depth and intimacy because the people concerned will be more interested in the connections of the soul rather than the connections of the external and the physical realms.

There will be sharing and caring, and yet both partners will be independent and self-reliant within themselves. There can be no co-dependency in the New Earth. Balance is so important.

These relationships will be balanced and loving, between two equally powerful and caring persons. There will be no dominance, no victims, no dramas and no abuse.

There will be commitment – commitment to the relationship and the mutual growth of each of the partners within the relationship. And this will be true for all relationships, not just love or romantic relationships.

Friendships will become deeper and more meaningful experiences, as you understand that you have soul families, and that your friends often are close soul relations who are here to love and support you in your work on the planet. And when your relationships exist in this loving and balanced state, then your sexuality will also be loving and balanced.

And, once again humans will learn to celebrate and enjoy their creative and sexual energies in ways that are life-enhancing and ecstatic. And we are here to work with you and love you and support you as you move into this loving and love-filled space.

~ Indigo Nin