Find A Love That Makes You Feel Young~

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Find A Love That Makes You Feel Young~~
I fell in love when I was 29. It was the kind of love that brought me back to my 17-year-old self loving for the very first time.

The six months prior were the hardest times of my life. I remember while going through that period I kept saying to myself that if I could do one thing…just one thing…it would be to fall in love again.

I’d gone through so many flings and romantic nothingness for so long. I just wanted to feel something again. Just fucking anything.

And then I met her.

The Universe answered my prayer and re-energized my tired heart with that forgotten feeling of hope.

She gave me a love that brought me right back to my youth.

Like a time machine to my heart taking it back to a time before it’d experienced any real pain or loss.

Before the years of time eroded it with practicality.

Just two hearts beating wildly in wide open for each other.

Was the love healthy? Oh hell no!

The love and relationship was utterly dysfunctional in every which way.

But at its centre it was damn real and pure.

And sometimes when love calls you have to ride the wave. Even when you know that wave is ultimately doomed to break and crash down on you.

Whether love lives or whether it dies, the experience of loving will always leave an imprint on your heart for the better.

So love while you can. Even if it ends in pain. The pain you experience as a result of loving is simply the shadow of the light you lived in while you loved.

While that love never lasted. It taught me about how love should make you feel. How I wanted love to make me feel.

I want a love that makes me feel young.

I think that’s what we all want.

We grow up our entire lives searching for someone who will make us feel like a kid again.

A love that will keep us young.

While I think love in itself has the power to make us feel young. I don’t think every love you experience will do this.

But I do think when you experience love in its purest form. When you experience love at its best. It will transport you back to the time before you knew how to guard your heart.

It will be so pure. So raw and real. There will be no way to defend against it. It will be impenetrable. Like a beautiful storm that barges into our life and changes everything in an instant.

When love is at its very best it will make us feel young. It will make us feel alive. Everything that’s dead or stagnant inside of us suddenly blossoms and becomes reborn. Our soul comes out of hiding.

Love can act as a séance to our souls and resurrect them back to a forgotten state of aliveness.

Love at its best is the ultimate equalizer. It can level all of us and plant is in the moment.

I believe that’s part of why love brings us back to our youth. It can stop time. It can alleviate worry about the future. It can put us at peace with our past. And plant is in the moment with the wind at our back, sun on our face, tingles in our toes and a smile in our heart.

Love makes the hours and minutes of the day longer and more meaningful. It makes nothing more valuable than the moment. Just like when we were kids, before the weight of responsibility and speed of time multi-tasked our focus to every which way but the now.

The problem is that I think some of us forget how to love like this. Or we settle for a love that doesn’t reach the depths our souls.

We settle for love that gives us security without changing our lives.

When you settle in love you get old fast. Your soul withers. Your heart tires.

You lose hope. You become guarded. Closed off. Life becomes bound full of limits and boundaries.

When you find a love that makes you feel young. It keeps your soul charged with fire. Your heart energized with optimism.

It makes possibilities limitless. It makes our greatest self within reach. It gives us permission to be the full shape of who we truly are.

You can see it when you see one half of an elderly couple caring for the other. You see love broken down into its simplest, most beautiful form.

They know their bodies have aged but they still feel young. When they look at each other. When they dance with one another. When they hold each other. They still feel young. Their love is what keeps them young. Their connection is what eternally binds their souls to their youth.

You can feel it when you hear a middle-aged couple still making each other laugh like grade schoolers.

Who still look at each other like they’re looking across the room at each other for the first time at the Winter Formal. Who still hold hands like it’s the beginning. Who still talk to each other like they’re sacred. Who still have fun together like they’re kids on the run.

They may be growing older. But I guarantee when they’re together, in the throes of their love, they still feel like they’re 25 and first setting out into the world at each other’s side.

It’s funny how we grow up our entire lives searching for someone who can make us feel like a kid again. Searching for someone whose love can hold a mirror to the part of our soul that we never want to lose.

But too many people do love mediocre. There are so many average things in this life. Love should not be one of those things. Love should be the magical among the mundane. The god among the mortal. The most special thing in your life.

But too many people choose a love for the wrong reasons. Or they choose a love and then stop choosing it and expect it to still be magical. They choose love out of fear. Love out of security. This slows the heart. Dampens the spirit. Kills the soul.

But the choice to love must always be made out of courage.

I’m telling you…when you find the right type of love with the right person it will make you feel like a kid again.

When you find a great, powerful love it will tear down your walls and rip right through your heart and soul.

Right back to the essence of you before the gauntlet of time and pain dampened your spirit.

Before the heartache.

Before the false promises.

Before the walls.

Before the hurt.

To a time when you knew nothing but how to love and life with an open heart.

We grow up our entire lives trying to become responsible adults functioning in the world while we continue, endlessly pursuing another person who can wash it all away with one look, one touch, one smile and turn is into that teenage kid who had nothing but the world at their feet and a soul thirsty for adventure.

Before someone betrayed us. Hurt us. Deceived us. Before someone sharpened our view to be pessimistic and jaded.

When you find the right love it will do this. It will be a love that you will allow you to love wildly and freely in the face of your scars.

In fact, the scars will be reminders of the journey you survived to find someone who can finally bring you home again. Home to the very best and truest sense of who you are. Home to a part of you that you may have lost along the way and always been trying to get back to.

When love is right it’s the act of two hearts finding a home in each other. A home that gives us a safe place to be who we truly are and were always meant to be.

Love at its best and purest will do this. It will awaken the inner eternal child. It will make our souls and hearts dance in synchrony.

It’s funny how we grow up our entire lives searching for someone who will make us feel like a kid again.

I lost this for a while. I lost the part of myself who knew how to feel like that. Who desperately wanted to feel like that.

That love I experienced for a shooting star moment did not last. But its mark carved a path home to myself. To that part of my soul that was awakened by its light.

To the depths of how much I knew I was capable of feeling deep down in my soul.

While love can be many things. I know now…for me…I want love to be the thing that keeps me young. I want to find a love with someone that keeps my heart and soul charged and burning with fires of youth.

Like that eternal equalizer. I want to feel innocent in the arms of the one I love. I want to look into their eyes and feel hope that tomorrow can always be new and beautiful.

This is what I consider to be the human dream. A kind of love in which I truly hope we all get to experience.

The kind of love with another soul that makes our world a little lighter and brighter, makes the pain of past loves turning points and necessary lessons, not regrets, and turns our heart and soul into that eternal child that we grow up our entire lives trying to get back to.

While that love did not last. The love experienced was a reminder and wake up call.

That love should make you feel young.

That when love is at its best and purest it will protect and nourish our innocence. That we grow up our entire lives searching for a love that can make us feel like a kid again. And when we find it, that love can be the thing that keeps us young for the rest of our lives.~

~James Rea

http://jamienrea.com/…/find-a-love-that-makes-you-feel-you…/

** and sometimes it may take you until your’re in your 50’s to find that kind of love 

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We’re Stronger Together~

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We’re stronger together, but only because of who we are apart.~~

Our society is changing; hell, if we’re honest, it already has. We’re not partnering up and getting married because we don’t want to be alone, or because we need someone to financially care for us. We’re choosing people to be in a relationship with who truly challenge us and help us become our best possible selves.

Because a relationship is the best vehicle for self-growth.

It seems that we spend so much time discussing how we need to love ourselves before we love another (insert eye roll) and how we need to remain unattached to practically everything, that we forget that only in relationships do we get triggered in the very way that we need to encourage us to grow to the next level of our lives.

We are born living and loving at a basic level. As young adults learning about love and relationships, things felt simple. We chose people who were friends with our friends, who were cute, and who were good kissers—or was that only me? We entered relationships because they posed a certain level of convenience, not because they brought out the best in us.

But as we grow, we begin to need more from our partners than simply to check off the boxes that other people told us were important, and so begins our journey through the different levels of love and of knowing ourselves. Perhaps some of us love at one level our entire lives, but I’ve found that many of us long for a conscious relationship—one of the highest levels of love—so that we can use it to further our own growth.

It seems that in traditional relationships, in which the sole purpose is marriage and children, we are often schooled to let the “me” dissolve into the “we,” where we are no longer an individual but rather half of another entity. This sort of thinking is destructive because it encourages us to believe that what the team wants is always more important than our own individual needs.

Then there is the romantic relationship in which we take the drastic stance of not needing anyone—after all, we are often told that non-attachment is the key to a healthy relationship. This sort of thinking can be just as destructive as its opposite, because within it we operate under the false belief that we can actually get through life without needing anyone else.

The most crucial aspect of a conscious relationship is maintaining the “me” while admitting that we need the “we.” This means that while we don’t merge our names together or become one entity, we consider ourselves a team and make the team’s needs as important as our own.

That said, when it comes to moments of growth or transformation, those in conscious relationships recognize that individual needs have to come before team needs. This means that sometimes we will have to let our partner go off on their own to battle their own demons or unfinished story lines. It might mean that we bless them with time and space so that they can sort through the chaos of their own thoughts, knowing that their behavior isn’t a personal reflection on us, but rather something they need to experience on their journey.

By practicing this, not only are we able to maintain our own sense of self within a relationship, but the “we”—the team—is stronger because of it. A conscious relationship isn’t about two halves; instead, it’s about taking who we are separately, our whole flawed, beautiful self, and coming together with someone who complements what we lack.

None of us are meant to do life alone. None of us are meant to be everything and do everything. Healthy relationships are about letting down our walls and seeing how well our crazy can dance with another’s, and what it feels like to truly let someone in who not only lets us be ourselves, but also knows where to pick up when we leave off.

During this practice, our individual growth becomes essential for the relationship to flourish. We’re no longer with someone just to say we have a date for Friday night. Instead, we’re choosing to be in partnership with someone who can elevate us to a level where we recognize that our romantic relationship will only be as enriching as the relationship we have with ourselves. Developing a conscious relationship is less about some New Age theory and more about us realizing that we don’t have to give up who we are in order to be loved.

Everything in life is a practice, especially how we choose to love and understand within a conscious relationship, because we’ll never be perfect at it. None of us will ever reach an end point where we can no longer improve. The idea with this practice is to be real about where we are today and hopeful about where we want to be tomorrow.

And above all, it’s about realizing that the person we’re with should want the best for us. Not their idea of the best, but what truly nourishes our souls.

In conscious relationships, where both people are secure within themselves, there is no goal to the union other than to simply support one another because we know that we are only as strong as our greatest weakness.

It’s about loving one another for who we truly are, but also understanding how that unrestricted support can actually make us more of who we are.

And that is the best part about becoming a healthy “me” within a conscious “we.”~

~Kate Rose

https://www.elephantjournal.com/2018/04/conscious-relationships-101-keeping-the-me-in-we/

art: Rodolfo Ledel

Relationships ~ “The Four Golden Threads”~

In order for an intimate relationship to be healthy and sustainable, “The Four Golden Threads” — Physical, Emotional, Intellectual and Spiritual — need to be active and connected between two people. When entering into an intimate relationship, many people don’t pause long enough to make sure that all of these threads are lit up and in alignment with their partner. This simple misstep can lead to short-term pain or long-term misery, especially when two mismatched partners get married and have children together. Ultimately, what’s missing in the beginning will be the thing that derails the relationship in the end.

Think about it. In the beginning of a relationship when everything is new and fresh, we often tell ourselves, “So what if everything’s not quite what we’re looking for?” However, over time, little bits of compromise creep in. We see what we want to see and ignore the rest. It’s usually months or years later, in retrospect that we see that the clues of what went wrong were always there; we just chose not to pay attention to them.

Let’s first examine each of “The Four Golden Threads” with special attention to the impact of their absence:

Physical~
If we enter a relationship with a weak or absent physical connection, what might that look like?

-No chemistry
-No passion or excitement
-No playful flirting and fun
-No meaningful or close feelings of intimacy
-No deep levels of affection

Emotional~
If we enter a relationship with a weak or absent emotional connection, what might that look like?

-No shared vulnerability
-No healing of emotional wounds
-No understanding of your emotional states
-No compassion or empathy for your experience
-No real nurturing or heartfelt affection

Intellectual~
If we enter a relationship with a weak or absent intellectual connection, what might that look like?

-No one to share your big picture interests
-No one to talk with for long hours into the night
-No one to share your favorite movies, music, theater, books, etc.
-No one to continually pique your interest and curiosity
-No one to learn new things from

Spiritual~
If we enter a relationship with a weak or absent spiritual connection, what might that look like?

-No shared values or vision
-No one to witness your experiences
-No one to support you as you navigate the inner realms
-No one to see and recognize your Higher Self
-No spiritual companion

It’s much easier to see when spelled out this way. Once you recognize the warning signs, you might not want to get involved with someone you thought was a perfect partner after all. Far better to open your eyes, get some clarity before you make a long-term commitment and find yourself in the land of regret. In addition, when one of The Four Golden Threads is missing, you’ll always have that gnawing feeling in the core of your being telling you something’s wrong.

Examining “The Four Golden Threads” helps us to move this subject out of the closet, where it’s vague and hidden, into the light to be seen. Once illuminated, we can recognize our patterns of behavior.

Why then, are so many of us willing to compromise and leave one of these four threads out? More than likely it’s due to the following:

-Fear of being alone
-Wanting someone (anyone) to share life’s experiences with
-Not believing that someone with all four areas of compatibility is out there
-Impatience
-A lack of trust in life
-A desire to escape from one’s self
-Pressure from friends and family to be in a relationship
-A willingness to settle for less than you deserve

This list helps to clarify something that can be difficult to see and opens up the possibility of making different choices going forward.

Now that we’ve shed some light on what can happen when one of The Four Golden Threads is missing, let’s imagine what it would be like to partner with someone with whom all Four Golden Threads connect.

Your Partner…

… shares vulnerabilities with you
… is willing to help you heal your emotional wounds
… understands your emotional states
… is compassionate and has empathy for your experience
… shares your interests
… supports your creative expression
… enjoys talking with you for long hours into the night
… enjoys sharing your favorite movies, music, theater, books with you
… continually piques your interest and curiosity
… is attracted to you
… enjoys meaningful or close feelings of intimacy with you
… frequently expresses deep levels of affection with you
… has chemistry with you
… shares and supports your beliefs, values and life purpose
… wants to witness your experiences
… supports you as you navigate the inner realms
… loves you unconditionally, both your gifts and your wounds

This may sound idealistic and a bit too good to be true, however, when you look at the option of leaving one of those things out, it doesn’t seem even worth pursuing a relationship like that. Does this mean we need to seek the impossible in a partner? Do we need to look for the perfect match?

No, neither of those things.

It means we need to look for the perfect partner for us. We’re not looking for a pie-in-the-sky dream partner, we’re looking for someone whose gifts and wounds match well with our own. In other words, when you meet someone with whom all Four Golden Threads connect, you have the opportunity to get to know this person’s innate gifts and wounds, to love and accept the good with the bad and to work with all of it, because the blessings are so damn worth it.

The trick is to enter into the relationship fully cognizant of the fact that in order for a relationship to be healthy, fulfilling and sustainable for both parties, all four threads need attention and nurturing. Ignore one and the relationship will, without a doubt, fail or be severely handicapped.

As humans we need to connect with all four threads to feel whole and truly express who we are.

To take this to an even higher level, ideally we want to be partnering with someone who is aligned with our life purpose, supporting us to authentically express our gifts and deepest passions so that our lives are rich and meaningful. This way of living is energizing and fuels us. That way, the relationship is not a source of energy, but rather a place to share ourselves. It becomes a shared journey rather than a place to get all of our needs met. It’s also a place where we can share our deepest fears and pain so they can be witnessed and healed. A good relationship will allow for a high level of trust, so that vulnerability comes naturally, hastening the healing process.

How sad that we were not taught how to use our most intimate relationships as a context for deep inner work and healing! Alas, many come to this place late in life and pay lots of money to do workshops, seminars and retreats to sort out the inner mess, not suspecting that when they return from those experiences, they’ll have to reconcile these issues in their relationships. This is a missed opportunity because while weekend workshops are great, the wisdom and insights don’t usually stick, which is why it’s better to work through issues in the ongoing “workshop” of our relationships.

All relationships are sacred ~ love combined with respect. All life is asking of us is to treat others and ourselves with love and respect. With The Four Golden Threads as our guide, we can partner with another in a way that nurtures and inspires us, and supports us to live the life of our highest joy.~

~Victoria Fann

https://wakeup-world.com/2015/05/24/the-four-golden-threads/

art: Bruno Steinbach Silva

BRUNO STEINBACH SILVA1

We Don’t Meet Anyone by Accident~~

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Nothing happens by chance.~~
In this world that we are blessed to live in, every single meeting and chance encounter serves a greater purpose.

Sometimes, we need people to wake us up and help change the direction of our lives; at other times, we need people to uplift us and remind us who we are. And sometimes, it’s simply about those who are meant to hold space for us.

Ironically, we aren’t meant to know the purpose of every person we meet in this life, but we are meant to remain open to whatever each encounter will reveal.

In some ways, we have to look at the world as having connections running all through it—some threads are silken and crimson, while others are roughened burlap. Each thread depicts a different meeting that has yet to occur.

We are meant to interact with one another in this life and let our lives overlap. It sometimes seems that social media is chasing away the need for those real life connections, but something within our own minds begins to shift when we start to truly believe that every single thing that happens does so for a reason.

Not all encounters are supposed to last forever; sometimes, those meetings come in for just a mere moment in time. Perhaps it was to delay you, so that a car accident would be missed—or even to arrange a meeting for you with a potential lover. Sometimes, the universe sends us people to help us on our journey, even if they aren’t meant to be a significant part of it.

Life is a magical mystery of synchronicity, which is the belief that the universe sends us signs along the way to help direct us toward our life purpose. This can be the random meeting of people, angels, numbers, songs, and even feathers letting us know that there is a plan in place that we are not yet aware of.

Sometimes it seems that the more amazing something is the less we can actually recognize it in our lives.

Perhaps we can’t truly ever plan for destiny—but maybe we can prepare ourselves for it by making room for the unexpected.

Souls who are meant to wake us up.

I suppose these are those individuals who come into our lives permanently, or at least for an extended period of time. Sometimes, these are even soulmates or twin flames. These individuals come into our lives to create a roadblock for us. They ultimately stop us from living the life that we had been, and they make it impossible to ignore the call to awaken.

In many ways, these people are those who are rare gold, and we can sometimes sense them upon our initial meeting. Usually there is a sense of recognition in our eyes as well as a familiar vibration between individuals, yet this doesn’t mean that they aren’t meant to disrupt the status quo.

When we are young, we all have an idea of how we think our life will go—and then we get to the place where all we can do is laugh because of the actual path that it is taking. Nothing goes according to plan, but that’s because things aren’t meant to.

Instead, we sometimes receive divine intervention from these souls who are sent to us because of prior soul contracts. In essence, we have agreed to meet in this life prior to being born; we have agreed upon the time and even the meeting place.

All that is then left is for fate to play out, so that we can be directed back toward ourselves and the life purpose that we have yet to fulfill.

Souls who help remind us who we are.

In life, it sometimes seems that we battle with growing away from ourselves. We are these amazing children filled with fire and creativity, and somewhere along the way, we forget what we used to believe in with such vigor.

We often sell out for being adults and responsible, and somewhere along the way, we forget who we were truly born to be. This isn’t about how much money we make, or even what kind of job we hold down—it’s about our soul and inner compass.

Are we living each moment being true to ourselves? Or have we instead adopted the ideals and expectations of others, in an attempt to be someone that we think others need? The most difficult aspects that any of us face is the decision (and journey) to be ourselves, to break the mold, and to live according to our own truth.

These types of souls come into our lives to help remind us of who we were, so that we can begin to be more true to ourselves. Sometimes, they will do it gently—and at other times, it will need to be more disruptive, so that we can remember what it is we’ve so deeply forgotten.

Sometimes, the truth is that in order to become who we are meant to be, we first need to remember who we were before we tried to be like everyone else.

Souls who simply hold space for us.

Often these are the ones who we simply cross paths with momentarily, who are meant to hold space for us in some small way.

These are the conversations that begin instantly and last for hours while on a bus, or those smiles as we walk with a coffee in hand, wondering how our hearts became broken once again. Sometimes, it seems we believe that cosmic, soul connections have to be these big, lifelong experiences—but in reality, we have them every single day.

Just because someone doesn’t stay in our lives for years doesn’t mean that their purpose isn’t a fulfilling or meaningful one. Usually these types of souls don’t know us well; perhaps, it may even be that it was merely us noticing someone who is invisible to most, such as a homeless person on the street or that hitchhiker on the side of the road.

However, the beautiful thing is that we all have a story, and we all have a purpose in this life. Sometimes people come in to change our lives and stay—and at other times, they merely hold space so other changes can occur.

Our threads of interconnectedness are what make this planet as amazingly unpredictable as it is, because the reality is that we just never know when we’ll bump into someone who was sent to us to change our lives.~

~Kate Rose

https://www.elephantjournal.com/…/we-dont-meet-anyone-by-a…/     Irina Vitalievna Karkabi - Tutt'Art@ -

art: Irina Karkabi

7 Types of Relationships & The Influence of The Chakras~

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According to the Vedas there are 7 types of relationships that we can experience in our lives. These 7 categories of relationships achieve a certain type of harmony between two people that correspond to our 7 chakra centres: your root centre, sacral chakra, solar plexus, heart centre, throat chakra, brow chakra (third eye centre), and crown chakra.

Your chakras are the energetic centres of your lightbody, your spiritual body. Each chakra controls different areas of your life, and when you can balance and cleanse your chakras, you begin to balance and cleanse your life simultaneously. The state of your chakras can influence many aspects of your life, including marriages and romantic relationships – which is the topic of today’s blog post.

According to the Vedas, the chakra that is most active in your relationship determines your ambitions and goals within your relationship. So if your relationship is based from your root chakra, your understanding of family happiness in your marriage will be under the influence of the powers governed by your root chakra. The lower chakras (Root, sacral and solar plexus) tend to bring more opportunities for unhappiness, whereas the higher centres (Heart, throat, brow and crown) yield more opportunities for happiness. We can work our way through the chakra centres and achieve higher levels. When we can activate higher centres, the lower ones open beautifully and by themselves too.

This article is regarding these 7 energy centres, and the kinds of relationships that tend to emerge from these influences.

The Root Chakra Couple~

The root chakra is connected to our primal instincts. It is greatly influenced by our sexual energy. I call it our ‘survival instinct chakra’ – because it’s sexual energy motivates us to have children and continue our lineage and because it motivates us to stay alive, and can keep us away from physical danger. The root chakra is also connected with selfishness and ego – two factors that are of utmost important to those who are motivated to survive. We use our selfishness to protect our needs, and we use our ego to protect our emotions.

The goal of the root chakra couple:

Sex.
The root chakra couple are motivated by their enjoyment of each other.

Where does the couple meet?

They usually meet in night clubs, bars, parties, or other places of entertainment. Of course there are relationships under the influence of higher chakras that may also meet at these locations, merely by happenstance, but the key differentiation here is that, there couples tend to go to these places IN ORDER TO FIND their future husband/wife. The women are usually attracted to how attractive or cool the man looks.

An overview of their relationship:

Root chakra couples are ruled by the planet mars, and tend to have an intense honeymoon period, and aspects of this can feel a lot like love to them. Of course with time, the honey-moon period gradually fades, and then they are usually left with bitterness and disappointment. Aspects of the honeymoon period can feel a lot like love to them. The relationship tends to be very up and down, never quite finding the right balance. They experience dizzying highs and deep lows. Their relationship becomes riddled with contradictions like “I love you, I don’t love you anymore”, “Do this for me, and I will love you”, “I love you but I will also cheat on you”, “I love you, but might leave you”, “I am leaving you and you must come after me.” They become trapped within themselves. They either want to rush into marriage very quickly, or delay it completely and indefinitely. If they do get married, it’s usually because of a very strong emotional dependence on each other, and not love. They just want to be together.

The sacral chakra couple~

The Sacral chakra is the spiritual energy centre connected to happiness, confidence and resourcefulness. It is also linked to the negative shades of greed, fear and self preservation. A couple that makes a connection through their sacral chakra, create a love that is based on a mutual desire for comfort and wealth. This chakra is influenced by the planet Venus. When this couple come together they first harmonise on the sacral level, and over time the root chakra may open up as well. This will result in the pleasures and also challenges of The Root Chakra couple also coming to play in the dynamic of their relationship. Their Sacral couple’s mutual desire for wealth and comfort appears to be more stable than the Root Chakra couple, but the Sacral chakra is still considered one of the lower energy centres – and so, it will continue to bring more opportunities for unhappiness, than it does for happiness.

Of course, it is not wrong to desire a comfortable life, or to want to have a beautiful and cosy home. The troubles arise when the couples make attaining this material success the main goal of their relationship – and that’s what the sacral couple tend to do.

The goal of the sacral chakra couple:

To have a comfortable life. To own cosy house, beautiful furniture, flashy cars etc. To create their own cosy, comfortable and wealthy home together.

Where does this couple meet?

Expensive restaurants, beautiful resorts, elite dinner parties, work events.

The solar plexus couple~

The solar plexus is the power centre of our energy chakras located in our light body. The solar plexus is connected to our ambitions and goals. Material pleasures in life can be further divided into two forms: the heavy and the subtle. The heavy worldly material pleasures are things like beautiful things – houses, cars, objects. This is what the Sacral Chakra Couple aspires too. One step higher than this is the subtle form of worldly material pleasures – which is the search for fame, prestige, and power. This is what the Solar Plexus Couple aspires to. They want to get married for power and prestige. Many famous people have relationships based on the solar plexus centre. This centre is influenced by the sun, which has a masculine nature and encourages people under its influence to find their place in society.

In order to achieve harmony on this level, the couple has to work very hard on themselves in order to overcome their high expectations of the future. They must cultivate unselfishness and submissiveness in order to access the ability of changing their character. Without that, they will never be able to change who they are. When a person meets another with a similar desire, they create a family together. They work very hard together to attain their goals. If they remain focused, then eventually they will achieve the power and fame that they wished for. When they achieve this “honour” and prestige, the conflicts within their personal life will begin. The husband begins to feel more and more proud of what he has achieved in life. The wife, on the other hand, begins to feel more and more that without her – none of this would have even been possible in the first place. This begins to cause underlying resentment in the family.

The goal of the solar plexus couple:

Power, prestige and fame. To be respected in society.

Where does this couple meet:

Special invitation parties, elite societies and meetings, sports clubs, political events etc.

The solar plexus motivation:

People who want to create a family in order to achieve fame and prestige, usually exercise and practice their self control from a young age. They have a competitive nature. They may participate in sports or study how to concentrate better. They do what they can to be better than the ones around them. It comes very naturally to them. They naturally want to be leaders of their friends. They are interested in things like management, but they usually tend to be a little bit arrogant by nature and quickly categorise the people they meet in relation to them.

As you can see, people under the influence of the solar plexus do engage in self-development – but they focus on the darker aspect of it. In their search for fame and prestige, they lose the ability to cultivate humility. While they work on themselves to become superior to those around them, they simply learn how to control others and increase their pride. When a person becomes more and more powerful, their pride, intolerance, and anger also grow. So while they are engaging in some sort of self development through self control, they use it for lower level motivations.

The fate of the solar plexus couple:

The best thing for them to do as a couple would be to stop interfering in each other lives and instead focus on making themselves better people – but their ambitions and drive for success and perfection won’t let them do that. They look to their partners to help them achieve their fame and success, and when it doesn’t happen as seamlessly as they want, they turn their attention onto changing their partner. However, they won’t be able to do that either, and they will start getting frustrated. They can’t change people by simply preaching to someone all the time. They can’t change their partner by yelling at them. Nothing changes. So as time goes by, they begin to feel like they are just living with strangers. They start getting disappointed by everything. Only their mutual interest in maintaining outward appearances and their outward social status holds their relationship together.

The only way for the solar plexus couple to change their fate is by changing their beliefs about life – to understand that there are more important things to wish for than fame.

They must set their sights on spiritual goals rather than material goals – otherwise they will find that they will always be disappointed in their life.

The heart-centred couple~

The Heart Centred Couple is the first chakra under the higher level energy centres – and therefore, is the first chakra to yield a “favourable relationship”. Thus, this couple will have more opportunities for happiness than opportunities for unhappiness. They usually have lasting marriages. These favourable relationships give both people the chance to cleanse their consciousness, to work through their karma, and to fulfill their dharma.

This type of couple are very interested in working on their character and self development. They wish happiness to those around them. They tend to be involved in charity, volunteering and in someway assisting their community. They respect their elders and listen to their advice. They generally do not go through problems regarding understanding one another in their married life. Their problems generally arise through fate, and the obstacles that life brings their way. But they understand each other well and have a desire to make their partner happy. These marriages tend to be very stable, and the couple are blessed with lots of friends, and wealth comes easily and naturally to them – although they never feel the need to depend on that either. If they have given wealth, they use it for universal goodness and happiness. And if they are not given wealth, they do not curse the universe for it either.

The goal of the heart centred couple:

Following moral principles together and uphold values in their family that provide peace and happiness.

This is a love that is based on the desire to bring happiness and peace to others, including their partners.

Where did this couple meet:

Places where they are around people pursuing similar interests – for example yoga classes, meditation centres etc. They tend to meet at communities that are striving for happiness.

The heart centred couples motivation:

People guided by their heart centre feel inclined to fill their hearts with optimism and joy. They wish well-being and goodness to those around them, and are naturally involved in helping people of the community through community service. They feel a duty to volunteer. They are raised to be generous people. They understand the importance of honesty and are usually respected and liked by people.

They are interested in choosing a good partner for themselves, and take the time to learn about relationships and prepare themselves for their commitments. The heart chakra centre is under the influence of the moon, which brings peace. They do not want to bring harm to others, including to their partners. They want to make sure everything around them is in harmony and balance.

They are hard-working and responsible, and spend their free time on activities that enhance their character and make them into better people. Heart centred women are calm women. They dress modestly and have respect for all people around them, specially their elders.

The heart chakra couple tend to ask people for advice when choosing their husband/wife.

The children of heart-centred parents listen to them. They tend to ask their parents for advice about life. They are also willing to listen to them. This is not found easily on the lower centres, because the lower centres do not allow the parents to cultivate humility. Without cultivating humility a parent cannot make the child listen to them, or to be completely open and trusting to their suggestions and advices.

This is not to say that children will never listen to parents from lower chakra centre relationships. However, these children are more likely to follow their parents behaviours and learn from them and do as they do. They won’t care much to listen to what their parents have to say about it.  However, if you want to be able to influence your children with your words, then you must have harmony on a higher chakra level.

The challenges of the heart-centred couple:

The heart centred couple does not usually encounter big problems in understanding each other, because they both hold the principle belief that they should bring joy to their partner, and not pain. So they try to avoid causing hurt to each other. By doing this, they naturally focus on understanding each other better too. Their marriage is usually stable and strong and have many good friends. Friends of the family wish them well and wish them happiness.

Of course, they are not immune to challenges and will face problems in areas of life as most people do, but the key thing about the heart centred couple is that overcoming these struggles strengthens their relationships, deepens their love and thickens their respect for one another.

Their main challenge will come in simply deepening their understanding of life and spiritual practice and cultivating an even more serious attitude towards perfecting themselves.

Another key challenge for the heart centered couple is that by behaving the way they do, they tend to naturally attract material wealth quickly, which encourages them to relax. There is the danger of  arrogance and the increased desire to spend more money, which of course, leads to problems both inside and outside the relationship. They also begin to attract lots of friends and people who like to spend time with the couple. These friends spend a lot of time in the couples home because they have such a great energy there. The problem with this is that it encourages the couple to engage in idle talk, to discuss unimportant, unfavourable and unnecessary things all the time.

However, as time passes, as fate would have it, heart centred people generally tire of material wealth, get bored of it and naturally retreat away from it.

The throat chakra couple~

Those motivated by the throat chakra (the ruling planet – mercury) are inclined to perfect their senses. They want to tune in their senses into the ethereal world. They practice meditation to have a higher level of senses. So that they can hear, feel, see, know and understand their messages from the universe. They wish happiness to everyone they think about.

It is also important for throat centred couples to cultivate self control and honesty. They do not let their earthly emotions control their experience of life – instead they act from a higher place. By controlling their emotions and not acting on every egotistic and emotional impulse, they train themselves to access a greater and more profound understanding and connection with the truth. They act from here. They are very good at controlling their ego and their emotions. They do not waste time in unfavourable conversations, and they do not engage in self flattery or showing off. They are very humble people. They are determined in achieving their goal of refining their senses and controlling their emotions and ego. They like to spend time amongst highly spiritual thinkers and leaders. It is only at the throat level that a person can become a successful spiritual guru or leader to others. This is because – it is only at this level that a person has successfully purified their consciousness to an extent that they would not be passing on their own bad karma to their students. At this level, they would be practicing what they preach all the time. At this level they would begin to experience true psychic knowledge.

The throat chakra couple are a rare couple to come across. They tend to be very talented people. They tend to “feel” the world with their senses rather than live through it. Because of this deeply intuitive approach to the world, they live in deep harmony with their world. They tend to be naturally poetic with their words. They understand the power of sound and the power of words, so they choose them carefully and beautifully. Because they develop their senses so much, and try to tune it into the subtle nature of the universe and it’s energetic voice, they also simultaneously develop their taste in the arts. They have a well refined musical, artistic and poetic taste. They are able to perceive beauty and delicacy in everyday things. They know what matter that is perceived by their senses is good for their soul. These people tend to have a very mystical and magical marriage together. They understand each other deeply and completely. They can always relate to each other and feel deep empathy towards one another. They feel each other, even from far away distances. They communicate with their thoughts and feelings rather than words; if one thinks of something, the other one has a sense of it already. Their marriage will last many lives, and they have certainly been together in previous lives too. They both have very good karma that they will work through together. Often their connection is so strong that they will always find each other in whichever life they are in. Sometimes they can even find each other at very big distances apart. Sometimes a man will move to another country just to pick up his soulmate. They know from the first glance of each other that they were meant to be together and to find happiness together.

The throat centred couple are able to give birth to very talented children. Their children will also practice self realisation, self development and self perfection.

The third-eye chakra couple~

Those under the influence of their third-eye or brow chakra, are ruled by the planet Saturn. These are people who have been practicing self realisation for many lives. The couple come together to practice self perfection together. They have a very deep psychic harmony that allows them to completely give their lives to each other. They are committed to studying the highest truth of the universe. They want to experience God. This relationship is very rare. These people are usually spiritual teachers. They live simply for other people and not for themselves. When a couple has harmony on this level they only want to make other people happy. Sometimes this couple abstain from sexual relations with each other. They simply live together to help each other on their spiritual path.

The crown chakra couple~

Those activated at the crown chakra, ruled by the planet Jupiter, create an unearthly and mystical love. They abstain completely from sex. The woman thinks of her husband as her teacher, her guru, and she trusts him completely. She is always loyal to him. Her husband behaves as a saint would. After they die, they go into the spiritual world, where they can be together forever. They have completed their work.

This is a very high level type of love.~

 

art: Alex Grey

 

article from: http://www.the-open-mind.com/the-7-types-of-relationships-the-influence-of-the-chakras-1/

Emotional Intelligence and Intimacy~

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Emotional Intelligence and Intimacy~

Intimacy is often times mistaken for physical closeness: hugging, cuddling, kissing, sex. However, if there is no emotional intimacy, as in emotional relating and a feeling of safety in a relationship, then physical intimacy can only go that far.

For many people, physical intimacy comes easier than emotional intimacy. For others it is the other way around. Often times people avoid emotional intimacy by focusing on physical intimacy, using sex to buffer up their vulnerability. But in order to truly open up to a partner and go deep, we need to feel safe and be able to share emotional intimacy, our fears, mistakes, and pains and receive each other with compassion and empathy.

In order to be emotional intimate with a partner we need to be able to be intimate with ourselves, feeling our vulnerability without judgment and developing healthy self-love. If we are not comfortable with our own vulnerability, we cannot receive the vulnerability of another person fully and emotional intimacy is blocked. No matter how hot the sex and how great physical intimacy is, if we don’t develop or have emotional intimacy and the safety to express ourselves that way, a relationship can go only so far.

We need safety and healthy boundaries in order to establish intimacy on all levels. This safety is more than just feeling “secure” and boundaries don’t mean rejection or avoidance. It is about taking care of ourselves. Our body gives us constantly clues about what is safe for us and what not. The more we are in touch with our bodies, the more we can receive these messages which also puts us in touch with our vulnerability. It’s important to listen to these bodily sensations which go deeper than just sexual feelings. Most often they are buried under layers of “armor”. It’s easy to rationalize these deeper sensations away, judging ourselves for not opening up when it doesn’t feel safe. Don’t listen to the mind, trust your body and don’t judge yourself for however you feel.

Emotional intimacy goes hand in hand with trust, knowing that we can be completely ourselves with all our vulnerability and always be received with compassion and empathy in a safe container by a partner. But before we can receive another person like that ourselves, or even express ourselves that way, we must be able to to be compassionate with ourselves and love ourselves, the dark and light, neither inflating or diminishing ourselves.

Otherwise we will keep looking for the illusory partner, who never comes and whom we want to be a certain way, when in fact this is what we need to give to ourselves first. Sometimes we’re looking for a “savior” in a partner unconsciously but it is a projection of what we have denied or avoided to give ourselves: healthy self-love, vulnerability and inner safety. Before we can develop deeper trust with a partner, we need to be able to trust ourselves and the deeper clues our bodies are giving us.

Living in a world with ever increasing technology and computerization we have become more and more disconnected from our bodies. We stare at a computer screen more than ever before, professionally or at home. We are glued to our smartphones. Children spend more time on play-stations, TV, and computers than playing outside. We have become desensitized and are not aware of how we hold and carry ourselves and how every day life affects our bodies and overall health.

Most of us are so out of touch with our bodies that we don’t even sense these messages which could help us to make wiser decisions and choices. Our rational mind tends to over-ride the more subtle impressions of the body, the gut feeling, and the energetic clues that are perceived by the body. We may sense some tension in our bodies when something or someone feels off but tend to ignore it, getting stuck in our head and our thoughts. Mainstream education doesn’t teach us about body awareness and how to listen to our intuition and gut-feelings. We reward intellectual intelligence but have forgotten emotional intelligence and the intelligence of the body.

There are many ways to get in touch with our bodies (Bodywork, Yoga, Dance, Qi Gong, Tai Qi, to name a few…) in order to increase self-awareness and sensitivity to the energetic clues of our environment as well as release energy blocks, stress and trauma that is manifested in our bodies from our past and through daily living. A healthy body-mind is the foundation for good health and relationships: physical, emotional, and mental.

“Take care of your body with steadfast fidelity. The soul must see through these eyes alone, and if they are dim, the whole world is clouded.”
~ Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe

~ Bernhard Guenther

http://wakeup-world.com/…/emotional-intelligence-and-intim…/

art: Mauro Colombo

Conscious Sex ~

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If men understood the value of a well fucked woman they would have no choice but to prioritise their sexual evolution.

If you understood that having a well fucked woman on your side was the formula to succeeding in life, in every realm and every kingdom it would become your religion.

Religiously giving her everything you’ve got, on your knees thrusting in prayer, hymns flowing from her hips to her lips a gospel choir conducted by your conductor, symphonies as sweet as an angels breath written by your caress.

Taking her deeper than the material, the mundane, the physical, undressing her body mind and soul, she is your ticket to success.

The most valuable asset you could ever invest in, your embodied evolution, your sexual consciousness.

She will ooze all over your existence , lusciously dripping warm and melting, lubricating your life, the ease within your flow, the lakshmi to your abundance, the magic behind your power.

A moisturised life, gleaming in the glory of her erotically charged radiance,

The remedy to your everything, a slathered on saviour, the coconut oil of the human variety.

Apply liberally.

Her creative energy that you have assisted in its activation, stirred up within her cauldron, will birth your every dream into reality.

Your conscious cock is like a wizards wand, interacting with her magic to manifest,  co-creating a new world with every breath, pulse and moan.

You have the power to be the god she calls her own. Taking her to heights most holy upon sweaty sheets.

You can be the moon to her tides, eclipsing her preoccupation with the mind.

You can blow the wind into her sails and lift her up high to explore the oceans of the skies, the power in your body vibrating, attuned, refined.

Divorcing her from unconsciousness & reuniting her with the divine, helping her become clarified.

Taking her into timeless trance states where her body lay beneath your own, yet her psyche is in another dimensional time zone, reciting the lyrics straight from gods kiss, a lyrical psychic physicist, delivering wisdom straight from creations mind back in her body for dinner time.

You can be a part of miracles like that on the daily if you desire.

When you heal one of us you heal us all.

Conscious sex is medicine and we are all suffering from our unfilled prescriptions.

We have become diseased from a lack of connection, from ourselves, from each other, from the earth, from the feminine.

Now is time for our reclamation.

If you are into transformation and ignoring your sexuality you are sorely mistaken, our evolution relies on our full bodied and soul integration.~

~Alana Louise May

 

Excerpts from: http://alanalouisemay.com/blog/2016/12/14/conscious-cock-is-medicine

I Want You ~

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I want the dangerous-ness of a love so ripe, it transforms every cell of my body.

Subtle, careful, half-hearted loves need not apply.

I want a love that’s as real as the dirt beneath my toes, as glorious as the mossy forest floor, as beautiful as a plump, blushing strawberry.

I want a love that’s ready to get his hands muddy and bare his whole goddamn heart.

I crave a love that’s beautiful because its raw, unpeeled and unafraid of its own roarin’ intensity.

I’m tired of dipping my toes timidly into love’s waters—I want to swim in it, to bask in it—I want it to surround me like a cloud of just-opened wildflowers, like fireworks, like a thrashing ocean of honey.

And love, I want you—

To challenge me.

Lead me right out of my comfort zone,

Rip my bullsh*t to bits,

Look me right in the goddamn eyes,

Water the thirsty buds in my soul with the wild thunderstorms of your beautiful heart.

Drink me up like a cherry-vanilla smoothie

And light me on f*cking fire with your smile.

No half measures, no tiptoeing around the truth, no timid mind games—

Come on, let’s do this—for real.

Subtle, careful, half-hearted loves need not apply.

Don’t hold back.

Take my hand, pull me close, embrace me—not carefully, not subtly—touch me confidently, intentionally, playfully.

Your hand tightly woven in mine, your lips tasting my lips, your fingers stirring the dusty strings of my heart,

My head resting on your neck as we sit on the emerald forest floor,

Our feet sopping wet with dew, laughing ’til the sun tucks itself behind the trees.

Don’t hold back.

Make love to me with the loud passionate bangs of a trombone.

Don’t hold back—

Why ever would you hold back?

Holding back is exhausting, it’s too calculated—it’s bullsh*t.

Don’t hold back.

Tell me everything that’s running through your mind.

Crash on my shores like waves, spill onto my skin, reach into my soul like a vine.

I’ll go off in your arms like a firework—I’ll bloom in your presence like a wild rose.

I want you—

All of you.

Every drop of your presence is required.

I won’t accept anything less.

Don’t hold back.

Take me to Jupiter with that mysterious glint in your eyes,

Let’s land on the edge of the crescent moon, as our bodies dance in glorious ecstasy together.

Let’s inhale together…and exhale,

Together—

Our chests rising and falling to the drumming dance of our excited heartbeats, as we soak up the glistening rays of the afternoon sun filtered through the majestic evergreens.

Don’t hold back.

Kiss me like you mean it—kiss me like you could die tomorrow.

And I’ll look into your eyes like you’re the most fascinating story in the world,

Because you are.

So let’s write this chapter, together—let’s weave these words like ivy and craft them into the budding love of a lifetime.

And let this love scare the sh*t out of us, let it set us madly on fire, let it shake us down to the juicy core

Let this love be the love that slaps us awake

And makes us question

Every damn thing

We thought

Was real.

I want you—all of you.

Every last drop of your presence is required,

I won’t accept anything less.

Don’t hold back.

Subtle, careful, half-hearted loves need not apply.

I want the dangerousness of a love so ripe, it transforms every cell of my body.

~Sarah Harvey

http://www.elephantjournal.com/2016/03/dont-hold-back-poem/

 

Image may contain: one or more people and close-up

Essence of Touch~

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Our bodies are built for connection. Not just a casual hug or hand on the shoulder.

We’re built to thrive on love, and intimate touch is a natural physical manifestation of love. And by intimate touch I mean the kind that says ‘I’m right here, fully present with you, in this moment,’ rather than intimacy which is just about genital contact. It’s an intimacy which can be shared with anyone we love, not just sexual partners. Studies have shown that the cells in our bodies expand when they feel love and contract when they feel its opposite, and our ability to use our touch to transmit that energy to another is an innate gift which we all carry.

Reawakening that ability for loving touch can be one of the simplest and most beautiful gifts to ourselves and our loved ones. At its most basic, just showing up and being willing to touch someone with the intention of bringing healing or love can be a comforting experience for another. And sometimes it’s as easy as that. We may shy away from placing soothing hands on an aching back or stroking a tense head, thinking drugs or a doctor are more efficient, or not wanting to spend the time. Surprisingly, though, it can be all that’s needed to shift a mood, lighten discomfort, or unlock a deeper emotional layer that’s ready to be cleared. More importantly, touch connects people and increases that sense of trust and love in the world in a way that doctors and drugs struggle to do.

In essence, reclaiming our ability to lovingly touch another—whether child, friend or lover—can be as straightforward as practicing the following four qualities. The more often we practice them, the deeper our touch can go.

In essence, reclaiming our ability to lovingly touch another—whether child, friend or lover—can be as straightforward as practicing the following four qualities. The more often we practice them, the deeper our touch can go.

~Clear intention. Be clear about why you want to touch another and stay focused on that intention. Are you intending to create a sense of well-being? Or pleasure? Or comfort? Whatever it is, be clear in your mind about it before you start. As an experiment, ask a friend to close their eyes and try two variations of the same touch—stroke their arm once while thinking of your favorite movie and then a second time while intending that they feel your love. Then ask if they noticed any difference.

~Love. It sounds simple to say ‘love the one you’re with’ but it’s not always that easy to access a feeling of love for someone at the drop of a hat. So find another way in to the energy—twiddle that internal dial until you find that feeling of love somewhere inside (try music, or the face of a lover, or the memory of a warm summer’s day). Use your mind or senses to find a catalyst that can bring you back to a deep feeling of love, then refocus the energy on the person you’re with.

~Presence. You can’t hear what another’s body is trying to say to you if your mind is busy, so bring that mind fully into the moment! Focus on the sensation of touch, or on synchronizing your breathing with the person you’re touching, if you need to have something to keep the mind busy with. Being present brings a stillness, and intuition reaches us through that stillness.

~Trust. Trust that you can bring a sense of well-being and love to another by touching them. Trust that somewhere deep inside, you know how and where to touch them. Then follow your instincts, get on with it and see where it leads you.

Feelings of pleasure and well-being aren’t just for the lucky one who’s being touched, either.

The beauty of feeling another opening under your touch and discovering the depths that can be hidden in the body brings with it a deeper connection to the mysteries of life as well as a sense of profound gratitude for this simple gift.~

~ Freya Watson

Tantric Lingam Massage~

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In Tantra, the penis is called the Lingam, which in Sanskrit can be translated as “Wand of Light.” A big part of Sacred Sexuality is learning to love the penis and not be afraid of it.

In Tantra, we connect with our partner on a personal level. We also connect with the universal sexual chi or energy that is in our partner’s body as an energetic life force. One way to do this is through the lingam massage. Yes, this is a fancy name for a hand job. But it’s done with more thoughtfulness, respect, care, and desire to bring selfless pleasure to your partner.

Unlike your average hand job, the lingam massage involves not only massaging and stroking the penis but can also incorporate more advanced techniques, including the testicles, perineum, and the Sacred Spot (aka the prostate) as well.

Lingam is the Sanskrit word for penis and loosely translates to “wand of light.” In Tantra philosophy, we approach the lingam, or penis, from a place of the utmost love and respect, the same way we approach the yoni, or vagina. By bringing a partner pleasure through his “wand of light,” we are filled with that same energy or light in a conscious exchange of energy in giving and receiving pleasure.

Lingam massage is a practice that truly honors a man. We do it to give him pleasure. There is also a tremendous amount of sexual energy or chi in a man’s penis. Learning how to stimulate and circulate it is very powerful.

When I went to India to study Tantra and yoga, I was shocked at first to see statues of the Shiva lingam that represented the God Shiva. For most people, it represents a state of meditation. But for ancient Tantric practitioners, this held a secret meaning: that this powerful God energy was in the man’s body but especially in the penis, which contains the most masculine essence concentrated in one place.

So, to truly have sacred sex, you need to approach the man’s body as a temple and his penis as the most holy place of all.

This isn’t about having one orgasm and being done. Instead, it’s about trying to feel more and more pleasure that will become waves of multiple orgasms throughout the massage.

Here’s how to perform a lingam penis massage on your partner.

For men who want to use this for sacred practice for masturbation and energy cultivation, follow the same instructions yourself.

1. Get him relaxed.

Have your partner lie on his back wherever he is most comfortable. He might like a pillow under his head and/or under his hips. His legs should be spread apart with his knees bent, so you have easy access to all parts of his genitalia. Remind him to breathe deeply. This will assist in a deeper relaxation.

2. Remember to breathe.

Breathing is what separates Tantra from regular sex. While you give your partner the lingam massage, remember to breathe the Bliss Breath: to receive his energy of arousal and pleasure on the inhale and send him loving energy on the exhale.

This special breathing will bring you three benefits:

1. You’ll have a deeper feeling of worship or meditation and mindfulness.

2. It will make you more empathetic to his thoughts and feelings.

3. It will heighten your sexual intuition—you’ll be more aware of what your partner wants without him having to ask.

3. Encourage your partner to breathe deeply.

Before you start the lingam massage, tune into your partner by engaging in the bliss breath together. Just taking a few breaths at the same time will put you both at ease and match your bio-rhythms. While you give him the massage, keep reminding him to breathe deeply, relax, and receive all the good feelings.

4. Lubricate and massage around the penis.

Use your favorite massage oil (I prefer coconut oil because it smells yummy) to oil the shaft of the penis and his testicles. Start by sliding your hands up and down his thighs before getting to the good stuff. This will also make him feel more relaxed. Compliment him on something you like about what you’re seeing and touching.

Move onto the testicles. Gently, slowly massage them. You can use your fingernails gently on his testicles, or pull them slightly. You can also cup them in your hands and fondle them in the palm of your hand.

Massage the area around his testicles and penis (i.e., the pubic bone in the front, the inner part of his thighs, and his perineum—or taint—which is the area between the testicles and the anus).

Be careful with the balls. Men differ greatly as to the kind of touch they like. Some men are more sensitive or ticklish than others. It’s OK to ask him how he likes them touched before you start, or even as you start fondling them.

5. Massage the shaft.

Once you’ve teased the areas around the penis and he’s clearly wanting more, move to the shaft of the penis. Vary your grip from harder to lighter. Vary your stroke sequences between straight up and down and a twisting motion.

Vary the action from one hand to two hands. When using just one hand, alternate between using the right hand and the left hand.

Vary the speed from slow to fast. Start slowly and build up to a faster pace, then take it back to a slow speed again. Keep alternating the pressure, speed, rhythm, and methods.

Also, alternate the shaft strokes to start from the root of the shaft all the way up to the head. Once at the head, you can either continue the straight up and down motion, or you can do the twist—going from the root of the shaft and stopping just below the tip of the penis.

Variety is the key here.

When using two hands, you can do it a few different ways:

1. Both hands hold the penis in the same direction with the fingers pointing the same way.

2. One hand holds the penis facing one way and the other hand faces the other way.

3. Both hands move up and down at the same time. Oil is your friend here. It helps create a smoother, gliding motion.

4. The bottom hand moves up and down while the top hand does a swirling/twisting action at the tip of the penis.

6. Don’t let him climax. Keep him at the edge of orgasm.

By now, he might be very worked up and might want to come. If you are paying close attention to his breathing, how his body is moving, and his moaning, you should be able to predict if he’s nearing orgasm.

When you see him at that edge, pull back on what you’re doing, or just slow it down and remind him to breathe and ride the wave of orgasmic feelings he’s experiencing.

He might go from being rock hard to semi-hard. Don’t worry. That’s what’s supposed to happen.

7. Stimulate the sacred spot externally.

The Sacred Spot is the prostate, which is a walnut-size gland located between the bladder and the penis. When stimulated properly, it is very pleasurable for men.

You can access the prostate either internally (by inserting your fingers or a prostate massage sex toy into the anus) or externally (through massaging the outside without penetration).

If your man isn’t experienced with prostate massage, start externally. To find the sacred spot, look for an indentation somewhere between the size of a pea and a walnut midway between the testicles and the anus. Push gently inward. Be careful to go slowly and let him guide you in terms of pressure.

When you hit the right spot, massage it by pushing in with your fingers or knuckles, then backing off and pushing in again. You can also use a circular massage motion. If he’s especially hairy, use more oil so you can get to the area more easily. Or better yet, ask him if you can shave him for easier access.

8. Stimulate the sacred spot internally.

Ask your man if he’s interested in taking the prostate massage to the next level with an internal massage. If he’s game, you’ll want to loosen up his anus with massage oil. Start by massaging the outside of the anus with your fingers in a slow, smooth, and gentle circular motion. Don’t insert a finger without his permission. Ask if he’s ready for more.

If he is ready for insertion, make sure his anus and your fingers are oiled up. Make sure your nails don’t have any jagged edges. Start by inserting just the tip of one finger at first. Wiggle it back and forth to loosen him up. Once he’s comfortable with that, you can insert your finger(s) more deeply, as the prostate is about 2 to 3 inches inside the anus, closer to the anterior wall of the rectum.

Once there, you can gently caress it by moving your finger from side to side, up and down, or “milking” it with a come hither motion with your finger(s). Ask him how he’s doing as you go. Let him lead.

Prostate massage can sometimes be difficult to do with fingers, which is why so many sex toy companies now sell prostate massagers that you can use when you’re ready to take it to the next level.

9. End the massage.

To end the massage, you can allow him to climax with an ejaculation orgasm or move onto intercourse. If he is practicing semen retention, you can have him hold all his juices as he learns to transmute the orgasm from the genitals into whole body energy orgasms.~

~Psalm Isadora
http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-25591/yes-men-can-have-multiple-orgasms-heres-the-tantric-technique-thatll-make-it.html