A Conscious Union~

A Conscious Union – The Ultimate Relationship~
Conscious Union earns her place in the “New Earth” jigsaw, is a honing and fine tuning of ingredients that go to make up a conscious relationship and how it is the closest thing to “happily ever after” that we will ever see within our existing DNA structure!

1. Two fully committed people who are willing to help each other heal and grow from the past. ~
Human beings are a complex set of cells with a huge range of needs and wants, even though some of us don’t say! From birth it is a near impossible task for any parent to meet the needs of their child 24/7 and to ensure their protection and safety from life, hence at some stage our childhood would have experienced a good few negative situations that may have become ingrained in our psyche and can stunt our childhood growth on the spot. Along comes our intimate relationships later in life which are fertile ground for healing from these ingrained experiences. But in order to heal, the wound needs to show itself and nothing quite like this kind of relationship, fires our need to look at these pain spots and allow them to surface and clear. This is the key ingredient in conscious love. It takes time, oodles of patience, compassion and willingness to stay open to whatever comes each day.

2. Two people who encourage full authenticity to be re-born in each other. ~
Love and approval is the human blueprint for life but from birth to now many of us lose the essence of our original nature by doing what we feel we need to do to be loved. Love and safety are life saving as children, without them the feeling is one of death and the motivating emotions that keep us as far away as possible from this fear, keep us chained in a symbiotic dance between trying to be loved and our drive to be authentic.
Our relationships are a fertile ground for re-entry into authenticity. Conscious relationships positively encourage it! How? Well we must provide the safety and comfort for each other at all times to allow the emergence of wholeness. It takes a lot of time, encouragement and commitment…have you got what it takes?

3. Two people who are self aware and willing to take responsibility for every action and input into the relationship. ~
Sadly many people have the unconscious view that everything their partner does is either right or wrong and the focus is outside of themselves. They transmit feelings and emotions  without due care of the relationship with a one way focus. When all is going great it’s easy but when conflict strikes all hell often breaks loose as the victim and perpetrator archetypes play out their next scene.
A conscious relationship always asks “what am I doing to create this situation and what can I do to help it get better?” Self awareness IS consciousness. We are constantly aware of the world around us but we randomly select what we do and don’t put our awareness on. I see people in their twilight years who have never chosen self awareness and everyone around them is either too scared to tell them what they need to look at or are worn out from trying. A sad situation and like a diseased cell in the human body! Be self aware…it’s a revelation and a miracle all at once. “The journey of yourself is the most rewarding one you will ever take”, so why spend all the time looking out the window?

4. Two people willing to change unhelpful behaviours. ~
All of our relationships are our mirrors. The way people react to us is a huge directional arrow to where we are at with our behaviour. In your relationship you do need to understand and get a grip of bad behaviour. Change is required. It’s common sense really, otherwise your relationship suffers constant erosion.

5. Two people who use kind communication verbally and physically and who can navigate the waters of conflict with ease. ~
Communication is the life blood of every relationship, period! It is absolutely possible to become authentic and say what you really need to say with kind words and body language.

6. Two people who are educated about relationship dynamics. ~
Do you know about the distinct phases of a relationship and what’s happening in your body during the honeymoon and conflict stages? Are you aware that you choose partners who are designed to bring up your stuff so you can look at it from the past? What conflict style do you take and how does that affect your partner? Are you aware of your relationship space? These and many more things are the important resources of information that must be read and digested in your conscious relationship library.

7. Two people who strive to maintain connection through all relationship weathers. ~
We can all do a great relationships when its’ going well but bad emotional weather will strike at sometime in everyone’s lives because life is always happening as we walk our path together. Life is designed to ebb and flow with the cycles of the Universe and a conscious relationship knows that when things ebb, relationship connection is paramount. It is easy to let life sweep us apart and to be too busy to talk or spend quality time together, but the velvet nature of connection is an elixir. Yes it takes effort but next time you feel like ignoring the relationship because you are too shattered to speak…take a moment to do something appreciative…even if it’s a little note or an “I love you”. Connection is the foundation of a healthy relationship.

8. Two people who are dedicated to allowing the otherness in each other with freedom to grow separately and together.~
Unconscious relationships control and dominate. Conscious relationships know that each person was born separate and “other” and their ultimate goal is to be separately connected not symbiotically connected. Need prevents freedom. Love encourages freedom. But here’s where we come unstuck at this stage in our conscious awakening. I believe intimate relationships are still conditional to hugely varying degrees and so freedom varies accordingly. Allowing freedom to “be and become” is a sore spot for many because there is so much fear about losing love once we are in love. We plant labels like “my girlfriend, my husband” etc. which suggests ownership of the other. Unconscious rules start to develop about what each person should do or not to do in the relationship and a stifle can begin to develop. This part of the conscious relationship recipe, I think, is the toughest, but with tender loving care blended with all of the above we can and will get there!

9. Two people who housekeep their relationship space regularly and are vigilant about nurturing it’s quality.~
Like a walled Garden of Eden, where the children and the animals live, it’s space and quality and energy are critical to the health of a conscious couple. We communicate largely with energy. Have you ever walked into a room and could cut the atmosphere with a knife? Energy always speaks the truth but often underlies the words and actions in a relationship. The conscious couple strives to maintain a peaceful and happy relationship space so the energetic truth matches the spoken words.

10. Two people who know that it is what they give to the relationship rather than what they take from it, that helps them heal and grow. ~
Healing and growth, as I mentioned earlier, is a game for two. You can do all the self development you like but your intimate relationship will trawl up all your unhealed fears, worries and pain from the past. It is designed to do this! Conscious relationships know that it is their job to help the other heal and grow not to take what “I need”. This sets up a beautiful cycle of mutual giving and nurturing which dispels any need to “get my needs met”. Trust me it works…I am living proof. What I have with my beloved is a fertile ground of healing and growth every day. So there you have it. The essential ingredients for a Conscious Union. The only way to love and be loved in these changing times. Open your eyes and look back down the road that you have come from and know that you are fully deserving every day to have a conscious relationship. No matter who you are or what you have experienced you have what it takes to create one. With a dash of self awareness and a tablespoon of willingness to change what needs to be changed, you too can learn to love authentically.

by Gina Hardy
(edited)

http://omtimes.com/2010/12/a-conscious-union-the-ultimate-relationship/

Hugs~~

The average length of a hug between two people is 3 seconds. But the researchers have discovered something fantastic. When a hug lasts 20 seconds, there is a therapeutic effect on the body and mind. The reason is that a sincere embrace produces a hormone called “oxytocin”, also known as the love hormone. This substance has many benefits in our physical and mental health, helps us, among other things, to relax, to feel safe and calm our fears and anxiety. This wonderful tranquilizer is offered free of charge every time we have a person in our arms, who cradled a child, who cherish a dog or a cat, that we are dancing with our partner, the closer we get to someone or simply hold the Shoulders of a friend.

A famous quote by psychotherapist Virginia Satir goes, “We need 4 hugs a day for survival. We need 8 hugs a day for maintenance. We need 12 hugs a day for growth.” Whether those exact numbers have been scientifically proven remains to be seen, but there is a great deal of scientific evidence related to the importance of hugs and physical contact. Here are some reasons why we should hug::

1. STIMULATES OXYTOCIN

Oxytocin is a neurotransmitter that acts on the limbic system, the brain’s emotional centre, promoting feelings of contentment, reducing anxiety and stress, and even making mammals monogamous. It is the hormone responsible for us all being here today. You see this little gem is released during childbirth, making our mothers forget about all of the excruciating pain they endured expelling us from their bodies and making them want to still love and spend time with us. New research from the University of California suggests that it has a similarly civilising effect on human males, making them more affectionate and better at forming relationships and social bonding. And it dramatically increased the libido and sexual performance of test subjects. When we hug someone, oxytocin is released into our bodies by our pituitary gland, lowering both our heart rates and our cortisol levels. Cortisol is the hormone responsible for stress, high blood pressure, and heart disease.

2. CULTIVATES PATIENCE

Connections are fostered when people take the time to appreciate and acknowledge one another. A hug is one of the easiest ways to show appreciation and acknowledgement of another person. The world is a busy, hustle-bustle place and we’re constantly rushing to the next task. By slowing down and taking a moment to offer sincere hugs throughout the day, we’re benefiting ourselves, others, and cultivating better patience within ourselves.

3. PREVENTS DISEASE

Affection also has a direct response on the reduction of stress which prevents many diseases. The Touch Research Institute at the University of Miami School of Medicine says it has carried out more than 100 studies into touch and found evidence of significant effects, including faster growth in premature babies, reduced pain, decreased autoimmune disease symptoms, lowered glucose levels in children with diabetes, and improved immune systems in people with cancer.

4. STIMULATES THYMUS GLAND

Hugs strengthen the immune system. The gentle pressure on the sternum and the emotional charge this creates activates the Solar Plexus Chakra. This stimulates the thymus gland, which regulates and balances the body’s production of white blood cells, which keep you healthy and disease free.

5. COMMUNICATION WITHOUT SAYING A WORD

Almost 70 percent of communication is nonverbal. The interpretation of body language can be based on a single gesture and hugging is an excellent method of expressing yourself nonverbally to another human being or animal. Not only can they feel the love and care in your embrace, but they can actually be receptive enough to pay it forward to others based on your initiative alone.

6. SELF-ESTEEM

Hugging boosts self-esteem, especially in children. The tactile sense is all-important in infants. A baby recognizes its parents initially by touch. From the time we’re born our family’s touch shows us that we’re loved and special. The associations of self-worth and tactile sensations from our early years are still imbedded in our nervous system as adults. The cuddles we received from our Mom and Dad while growing up remain imprinted at a cellular level, and hugs remind us at a somatic level of that. Hugs, therefore, connect us to our ability to self love.

7. STIMULATES DOPAMINE

Everything everyone does involves protecting and triggering dopamine flow. Low dopamine levels play a role in the neurodegenerative disease Parkinson’s as well as mood disorders such as depression. Dopamine is responsible for giving us that feel-good feeling, and it’s also responsible for motivation! Hugs stimulate brains to release dopamine, the pleasure hormone. Dopamine sensors are the areas that many stimulating drugs such as cocaine and methamphetamine target. The presence of a certain kinds of dopamine receptors are also associated with sensation-seeking.

8. STIMULATES SEROTONIN

Reaching out and hugging releases endorphins and serotonin into the blood vessels and the released endorphins and serotonin cause pleasure and negate pain and sadness and decrease the chances of getting heart problems, helps fight excess weight and prolongs life. Even the cuddling of pets has a soothing effect that reduces the stress levels. Hugging for an extended time lifts one’s serotonin levels, elevating mood and creating happiness.

9. PARASYMPATHETIC BALANCE

Hugs balance out the nervous system. The skin contains a network of tiny, egg-shaped pressure centres called Pacinian corpuscles that can sense touch and which are in contact with the brain through the vagus nerve. The galvanic skin response of someone receiving and giving a hug shows a change in skin conductance. The effect in moisture and electricity in the skin suggests a more balanced state in the nervous system – parasympathetic.
Embrace, embrace with your heart.~~

~Bob Jerus, SPHR

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/hugs-robert-jerus-sphr-always-on-your-mind

art: Dorina Costras

To Love a Serious Girl~~

 

To Love a Serious Girl~~
(Warning: naughty language ahead!)

She ain’t casual.

She’s serious in the fanciest of ways.

She means every word she says as she prays.

She ain’t a liar, the opposite in fact.

She’s a truth sayer, a lie slayer.

She’ll find a way in, because love always does.

She’ll break you on purpose.

It’s okay to be nervous.

Her only demand?

Honesty without command.

She’ll fuck you with her questions

until,

you cum with the answers you didn’t know you had.

She’s complicated, she’s always been.

You’ll never unravel her.

Don’t try, you can’t win.

She’s smart, not to be confused with sly.

Live twisted in her mystery until the day you die.

Don’t take her to happy hour,

unless you want to be there till closing.

Happy hour was created for those other girls—

The girls who look like women

and the women who act like girls and seem frozen.

She’s neither of those.

You’ll know it immediately too,

if she’ll look at you.

It’s in her eyes.

They’ll conquer you.

She’ll seem shy.

She’s not, just careful.

She knows what she’s capable of—

So, if she looks at you,

She chooses you.

Be grateful.

You’ll feel sexy.

Sexier than you’ve ever felt,

Cause you just saw yourself in those eyes,

you melt.

It’s hard to look away after that.

Virginity you thought you lost, way back.

She’ll swallow you, like the whale to Jonah.

You’ll disappear as if she owns ya.

Your cock, your mind, your heart—

it will seem

You’re safer than you’ve ever been.

She’ll spit you out whole in the end.

No need to be afraid,

she isn’t,

Of any of it cause she’s already lived it.

Like she’s been inside you too.

To love a serious girl is what you need.

A muse she is indeed.

She’ll ravage you with inspiration.

Her passion is suffocatin’.

You’ll gasp for understandin’ for the rest of your life,

Cause you know—

The casual ones don’t compare,

not to her and that stare.

She ain’t them, they ain’t her

And boy,

you seriously ain’t nothin’ without her.

~ Rebecca Lammersen

http://www.elephantjournal.com/2014/01/to-love-a-serious-girl-poem/

Balance~

Everything in life needs balance.

Light ~ dark, good ~ evil, up ~ down, masculine ~ feminine. We cannot have one without the other. One does not exist were it not for the creation of the opposite action. How do we truly know something is evil if we have not experienced good. How do we know a room is dark if we have not experienced light.

Even our emotions need balance. One cannot experience sadness if you haven’t truly felt happiness and bliss first. As individuals ourselves we also need balance. No matter what ‘gender’ you are you still need both the divine feminine and the sacred masculine within you. Duality is key. The feminine is creative and fluid and emotive. The masculine is analytical and logical and strong.

We need both aspects to be whole. Our masculine energy helps us to stop being so scattered, our feminine energy help us to feel safe and nurtured. The masculine side will give you the purpose to do something, yet the feminine side will determine HOW you do it. Two sides of one coin, two halves to one whole.

Get in touch with all aspects of yourself. The masculine and feminine, the light and shadow, the good and the bad. So you can be a complete soul, yin and yang.

~ Amanda Moloney

She wants to feel you as Shiva~

“Every moment of your life is either a test or a celebration. The same is true about every moment with your woman, only doubly so. Not only is her simple existence a test for you, but one of her deepest pleasures in intimacy is testing you, and then feeling you are not moved off course by her challenge.

The most erotic moment for a woman is feeling that you are Shiva, the divine masculine: unperturbable, totally loving, fully present, and all-pervading. She cannot move you, because you already are what you are, with or without her. She cannot scare you away, because you already penetrate her in fearless love, pervading her heart and body. She cannot distract you, because your one-pointed commitment to truth will not bend to her wiles. Feeling this hugeness of love and freedom in you, she can trust you, utterly, and surrender her testing in celebration of love.

Until she wants to feel you as Shiva again. And then the testing will begin anew. In fact, it is precisely when you are most Shiva-like that she will most test you.”

~David Deida

Conscious Sex ~

If men understood the value of a well fucked woman they would have no choice but to prioritise their sexual evolution.

If you understood that having a well fucked woman on your side was the formula to succeeding in life, in every realm and every kingdom it would become your religion.

Religiously giving her everything you’ve got, on your knees thrusting in prayer, hymns flowing from her hips to her lips a gospel choir conducted by your conductor, symphonies as sweet as an angels breath written by your caress.

Taking her deeper than the material, the mundane, the physical, undressing her body mind and soul, she is your ticket to success.

The most valuable asset you could ever invest in, your embodied evolution, your sexual consciousness.

She will ooze all over your existence , lusciously dripping warm and melting, lubricating your life, the ease within your flow, the lakshmi to your abundance, the magic behind your power.

A moisturised life, gleaming in the glory of her erotically charged radiance,

The remedy to your everything, a slathered on saviour, the coconut oil of the human variety.

Apply liberally.

Her creative energy that you have assisted in its activation, stirred up within her cauldron, will birth your every dream into reality.

Your conscious cock is like a wizards wand, interacting with her magic to manifest,  co-creating a new world with every breath, pulse and moan.

You have the power to be the god she calls her own. Taking her to heights most holy upon sweaty sheets.

You can be the moon to her tides, eclipsing her preoccupation with the mind.

You can blow the wind into her sails and lift her up high to explore the oceans of the skies, the power in your body vibrating, attuned, refined.

Divorcing her from unconsciousness & reuniting her with the divine, helping her become clarified.

Taking her into timeless trance states where her body lay beneath your own, yet her psyche is in another dimensional time zone, reciting the lyrics straight from gods kiss, a lyrical psychic physicist, delivering wisdom straight from creations mind back in her body for dinner time.

You can be a part of miracles like that on the daily if you desire.

When you heal one of us you heal us all.

Conscious sex is medicine and we are all suffering from our unfilled prescriptions.

We have become diseased from a lack of connection, from ourselves, from each other, from the earth, from the feminine.

Now is time for our reclamation.

If you are into transformation and ignoring your sexuality you are sorely mistaken, our evolution relies on our full bodied and soul integration.~

~Alana Louise May

 

Excerpts from: http://alanalouisemay.com/blog/2016/12/14/conscious-cock-is-medicine

I Want You ~

I want the dangerous-ness of a love so ripe, it transforms every cell of my body.

Subtle, careful, half-hearted loves need not apply.

I want a love that’s as real as the dirt beneath my toes, as glorious as the mossy forest floor, as beautiful as a plump, blushing strawberry.

I want a love that’s ready to get his hands muddy and bare his whole goddamn heart.

I crave a love that’s beautiful because its raw, unpeeled and unafraid of its own roarin’ intensity.

I’m tired of dipping my toes timidly into love’s waters—I want to swim in it, to bask in it—I want it to surround me like a cloud of just-opened wildflowers, like fireworks, like a thrashing ocean of honey.

And love, I want you—

To challenge me.

Lead me right out of my comfort zone,

Rip my bullsh*t to bits,

Look me right in the goddamn eyes,

Water the thirsty buds in my soul with the wild thunderstorms of your beautiful heart.

Drink me up like a cherry-vanilla smoothie

And light me on f*cking fire with your smile.

No half measures, no tiptoeing around the truth, no timid mind games—

Come on, let’s do this—for real.

Subtle, careful, half-hearted loves need not apply.

Don’t hold back.

Take my hand, pull me close, embrace me—not carefully, not subtly—touch me confidently, intentionally, playfully.

Your hand tightly woven in mine, your lips tasting my lips, your fingers stirring the dusty strings of my heart,

My head resting on your neck as we sit on the emerald forest floor,

Our feet sopping wet with dew, laughing ’til the sun tucks itself behind the trees.

Don’t hold back.

Make love to me with the loud passionate bangs of a trombone.

Don’t hold back—

Why ever would you hold back?

Holding back is exhausting, it’s too calculated—it’s bullsh*t.

Don’t hold back.

Tell me everything that’s running through your mind.

Crash on my shores like waves, spill onto my skin, reach into my soul like a vine.

I’ll go off in your arms like a firework—I’ll bloom in your presence like a wild rose.

I want you—

All of you.

Every drop of your presence is required.

I won’t accept anything less.

Don’t hold back.

Take me to Jupiter with that mysterious glint in your eyes,

Let’s land on the edge of the crescent moon, as our bodies dance in glorious ecstasy together.

Let’s inhale together…and exhale,

Together—

Our chests rising and falling to the drumming dance of our excited heartbeats, as we soak up the glistening rays of the afternoon sun filtered through the majestic evergreens.

Don’t hold back.

Kiss me like you mean it—kiss me like you could die tomorrow.

And I’ll look into your eyes like you’re the most fascinating story in the world,

Because you are.

So let’s write this chapter, together—let’s weave these words like ivy and craft them into the budding love of a lifetime.

And let this love scare the sh*t out of us, let it set us madly on fire, let it shake us down to the juicy core

Let this love be the love that slaps us awake

And makes us question

Every damn thing

We thought

Was real.

I want you—all of you.

Every last drop of your presence is required,

I won’t accept anything less.

Don’t hold back.

Subtle, careful, half-hearted loves need not apply.

I want the dangerousness of a love so ripe, it transforms every cell of my body.

~Sarah Harvey

http://www.elephantjournal.com/2016/03/dont-hold-back-poem/

 

Essence of Touch~

Our bodies are built for connection. Not just a casual hug or hand on the shoulder.

We’re built to thrive on love, and intimate touch is a natural physical manifestation of love. And by intimate touch I mean the kind that says ‘I’m right here, fully present with you, in this moment,’ rather than intimacy which is just about genital contact. It’s an intimacy which can be shared with anyone we love, not just sexual partners. Studies have shown that the cells in our bodies expand when they feel love and contract when they feel its opposite, and our ability to use our touch to transmit that energy to another is an innate gift which we all carry.

Reawakening that ability for loving touch can be one of the simplest and most beautiful gifts to ourselves and our loved ones. At its most basic, just showing up and being willing to touch someone with the intention of bringing healing or love can be a comforting experience for another. And sometimes it’s as easy as that. We may shy away from placing soothing hands on an aching back or stroking a tense head, thinking drugs or a doctor are more efficient, or not wanting to spend the time. Surprisingly, though, it can be all that’s needed to shift a mood, lighten discomfort, or unlock a deeper emotional layer that’s ready to be cleared. More importantly, touch connects people and increases that sense of trust and love in the world in a way that doctors and drugs struggle to do.

In essence, reclaiming our ability to lovingly touch another—whether child, friend or lover—can be as straightforward as practicing the following four qualities. The more often we practice them, the deeper our touch can go.

In essence, reclaiming our ability to lovingly touch another—whether child, friend or lover—can be as straightforward as practicing the following four qualities. The more often we practice them, the deeper our touch can go.

~Clear intention. Be clear about why you want to touch another and stay focused on that intention. Are you intending to create a sense of well-being? Or pleasure? Or comfort? Whatever it is, be clear in your mind about it before you start. As an experiment, ask a friend to close their eyes and try two variations of the same touch—stroke their arm once while thinking of your favorite movie and then a second time while intending that they feel your love. Then ask if they noticed any difference.

~Love. It sounds simple to say ‘love the one you’re with’ but it’s not always that easy to access a feeling of love for someone at the drop of a hat. So find another way in to the energy—twiddle that internal dial until you find that feeling of love somewhere inside (try music, or the face of a lover, or the memory of a warm summer’s day). Use your mind or senses to find a catalyst that can bring you back to a deep feeling of love, then refocus the energy on the person you’re with.

~Presence. You can’t hear what another’s body is trying to say to you if your mind is busy, so bring that mind fully into the moment! Focus on the sensation of touch, or on synchronizing your breathing with the person you’re touching, if you need to have something to keep the mind busy with. Being present brings a stillness, and intuition reaches us through that stillness.

~Trust. Trust that you can bring a sense of well-being and love to another by touching them. Trust that somewhere deep inside, you know how and where to touch them. Then follow your instincts, get on with it and see where it leads you.

Feelings of pleasure and well-being aren’t just for the lucky one who’s being touched, either.

The beauty of feeling another opening under your touch and discovering the depths that can be hidden in the body brings with it a deeper connection to the mysteries of life as well as a sense of profound gratitude for this simple gift.~

~ Freya Watson

Tantric Lingam Massage~

In Tantra, the penis is called the Lingam, which in Sanskrit can be translated as “Wand of Light.” A big part of Sacred Sexuality is learning to love the penis and not be afraid of it.

In Tantra, we connect with our partner on a personal level. We also connect with the universal sexual chi or energy that is in our partner’s body as an energetic life force. One way to do this is through the lingam massage. Yes, this is a fancy name for a hand job. But it’s done with more thoughtfulness, respect, care, and desire to bring selfless pleasure to your partner.

Unlike your average hand job, the lingam massage involves not only massaging and stroking the penis but can also incorporate more advanced techniques, including the testicles, perineum, and the Sacred Spot (aka the prostate) as well.

Lingam is the Sanskrit word for penis and loosely translates to “wand of light.” In Tantra philosophy, we approach the lingam, or penis, from a place of the utmost love and respect, the same way we approach the yoni, or vagina. By bringing a partner pleasure through his “wand of light,” we are filled with that same energy or light in a conscious exchange of energy in giving and receiving pleasure.

Lingam massage is a practice that truly honors a man. We do it to give him pleasure. There is also a tremendous amount of sexual energy or chi in a man’s penis. Learning how to stimulate and circulate it is very powerful.

When I went to India to study Tantra and yoga, I was shocked at first to see statues of the Shiva lingam that represented the God Shiva. For most people, it represents a state of meditation. But for ancient Tantric practitioners, this held a secret meaning: that this powerful God energy was in the man’s body but especially in the penis, which contains the most masculine essence concentrated in one place.

So, to truly have sacred sex, you need to approach the man’s body as a temple and his penis as the most holy place of all.

This isn’t about having one orgasm and being done. Instead, it’s about trying to feel more and more pleasure that will become waves of multiple orgasms throughout the massage.

Here’s how to perform a lingam penis massage on your partner.

For men who want to use this for sacred practice for masturbation and energy cultivation, follow the same instructions yourself.

1. Get him relaxed.

Have your partner lie on his back wherever he is most comfortable. He might like a pillow under his head and/or under his hips. His legs should be spread apart with his knees bent, so you have easy access to all parts of his genitalia. Remind him to breathe deeply. This will assist in a deeper relaxation.

2. Remember to breathe.

Breathing is what separates Tantra from regular sex. While you give your partner the lingam massage, remember to breathe the Bliss Breath: to receive his energy of arousal and pleasure on the inhale and send him loving energy on the exhale.

This special breathing will bring you three benefits:

1. You’ll have a deeper feeling of worship or meditation and mindfulness.

2. It will make you more empathetic to his thoughts and feelings.

3. It will heighten your sexual intuition—you’ll be more aware of what your partner wants without him having to ask.

3. Encourage your partner to breathe deeply.

Before you start the lingam massage, tune into your partner by engaging in the bliss breath together. Just taking a few breaths at the same time will put you both at ease and match your bio-rhythms. While you give him the massage, keep reminding him to breathe deeply, relax, and receive all the good feelings.

4. Lubricate and massage around the penis.

Use your favorite massage oil (I prefer coconut oil because it smells yummy) to oil the shaft of the penis and his testicles. Start by sliding your hands up and down his thighs before getting to the good stuff. This will also make him feel more relaxed. Compliment him on something you like about what you’re seeing and touching.

Move onto the testicles. Gently, slowly massage them. You can use your fingernails gently on his testicles, or pull them slightly. You can also cup them in your hands and fondle them in the palm of your hand.

Massage the area around his testicles and penis (i.e., the pubic bone in the front, the inner part of his thighs, and his perineum—or taint—which is the area between the testicles and the anus).

Be careful with the balls. Men differ greatly as to the kind of touch they like. Some men are more sensitive or ticklish than others. It’s OK to ask him how he likes them touched before you start, or even as you start fondling them.

5. Massage the shaft.

Once you’ve teased the areas around the penis and he’s clearly wanting more, move to the shaft of the penis. Vary your grip from harder to lighter. Vary your stroke sequences between straight up and down and a twisting motion.

Vary the action from one hand to two hands. When using just one hand, alternate between using the right hand and the left hand.

Vary the speed from slow to fast. Start slowly and build up to a faster pace, then take it back to a slow speed again. Keep alternating the pressure, speed, rhythm, and methods.

Also, alternate the shaft strokes to start from the root of the shaft all the way up to the head. Once at the head, you can either continue the straight up and down motion, or you can do the twist—going from the root of the shaft and stopping just below the tip of the penis.

Variety is the key here.

When using two hands, you can do it a few different ways:

1. Both hands hold the penis in the same direction with the fingers pointing the same way.

2. One hand holds the penis facing one way and the other hand faces the other way.

3. Both hands move up and down at the same time. Oil is your friend here. It helps create a smoother, gliding motion.

4. The bottom hand moves up and down while the top hand does a swirling/twisting action at the tip of the penis.

6. Don’t let him climax. Keep him at the edge of orgasm.

By now, he might be very worked up and might want to come. If you are paying close attention to his breathing, how his body is moving, and his moaning, you should be able to predict if he’s nearing orgasm.

When you see him at that edge, pull back on what you’re doing, or just slow it down and remind him to breathe and ride the wave of orgasmic feelings he’s experiencing.

He might go from being rock hard to semi-hard. Don’t worry. That’s what’s supposed to happen.

7. Stimulate the sacred spot externally.

The Sacred Spot is the prostate, which is a walnut-size gland located between the bladder and the penis. When stimulated properly, it is very pleasurable for men.

You can access the prostate either internally (by inserting your fingers or a prostate massage sex toy into the anus) or externally (through massaging the outside without penetration).

If your man isn’t experienced with prostate massage, start externally. To find the sacred spot, look for an indentation somewhere between the size of a pea and a walnut midway between the testicles and the anus. Push gently inward. Be careful to go slowly and let him guide you in terms of pressure.

When you hit the right spot, massage it by pushing in with your fingers or knuckles, then backing off and pushing in again. You can also use a circular massage motion. If he’s especially hairy, use more oil so you can get to the area more easily. Or better yet, ask him if you can shave him for easier access.

8. Stimulate the sacred spot internally.

Ask your man if he’s interested in taking the prostate massage to the next level with an internal massage. If he’s game, you’ll want to loosen up his anus with massage oil. Start by massaging the outside of the anus with your fingers in a slow, smooth, and gentle circular motion. Don’t insert a finger without his permission. Ask if he’s ready for more.

If he is ready for insertion, make sure his anus and your fingers are oiled up. Make sure your nails don’t have any jagged edges. Start by inserting just the tip of one finger at first. Wiggle it back and forth to loosen him up. Once he’s comfortable with that, you can insert your finger(s) more deeply, as the prostate is about 2 to 3 inches inside the anus, closer to the anterior wall of the rectum.

Once there, you can gently caress it by moving your finger from side to side, up and down, or “milking” it with a come hither motion with your finger(s). Ask him how he’s doing as you go. Let him lead.

Prostate massage can sometimes be difficult to do with fingers, which is why so many sex toy companies now sell prostate massagers that you can use when you’re ready to take it to the next level.

9. End the massage.

To end the massage, you can allow him to climax with an ejaculation orgasm or move onto intercourse. If he is practicing semen retention, you can have him hold all his juices as he learns to transmute the orgasm from the genitals into whole body energy orgasms.~

~Psalm Isadora
http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-25591/yes-men-can-have-multiple-orgasms-heres-the-tantric-technique-thatll-make-it.html

 

Listen to Your Heart~

Listen with your heart~

Infatuation is easy, intimacy is hard. In the middle of a disagreement, so many people wait for their turn to speak, instead of really listening to their partner. Years of history can bubble to the surface in an instant.

The need to be right can be deafening and blinding, and sometimes people dig their heels in so deeply there’s no hope for honest communication. As if it’…s a fight, and their partner is their opponent, and the object is to win.

But a relationship is not a game, and there are no winners when you and the person you love are in pain. You protect your ego, or you protect the relationship. If you want to truly love, that requires your vulnerability, and it takes guts to be naked like that.

So many people confuse love with control and manipulation. But love is about acceptance and a celebration. That doesn’t mean there won’t be things to work on, because of course there will. It just means that you see people as they are, and you accept them and celebrate them, while also loving yourself.

If you keep nurturing a real connection, doing those things simultaneously, that is, loving your partner and also making sure you’re honouring yourself will be natural.

There’s so much beauty in true partnership, but it takes effort. For whatever reason, that part doesn’t get covered in the fairy tales or the romantic comedies.~

~Ally Hamilton

Excerpt from: http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-11265/the-3-biggest-downfalls-of-romantic-relationships-how-to-avoid-them.html