A Conscious Union~

A Conscious Union – The Ultimate Relationship~
Conscious Union earns her place in the “New Earth” jigsaw, is a honing and fine tuning of ingredients that go to make up a conscious relationship and how it is the closest thing to “happily ever after” that we will ever see within our existing DNA structure!

1. Two fully committed people who are willing to help each other heal and grow from the past. ~
Human beings are a complex set of cells with a huge range of needs and wants, even though some of us don’t say! From birth it is a near impossible task for any parent to meet the needs of their child 24/7 and to ensure their protection and safety from life, hence at some stage our childhood would have experienced a good few negative situations that may have become ingrained in our psyche and can stunt our childhood growth on the spot. Along comes our intimate relationships later in life which are fertile ground for healing from these ingrained experiences. But in order to heal, the wound needs to show itself and nothing quite like this kind of relationship, fires our need to look at these pain spots and allow them to surface and clear. This is the key ingredient in conscious love. It takes time, oodles of patience, compassion and willingness to stay open to whatever comes each day.

2. Two people who encourage full authenticity to be re-born in each other. ~
Love and approval is the human blueprint for life but from birth to now many of us lose the essence of our original nature by doing what we feel we need to do to be loved. Love and safety are life saving as children, without them the feeling is one of death and the motivating emotions that keep us as far away as possible from this fear, keep us chained in a symbiotic dance between trying to be loved and our drive to be authentic.
Our relationships are a fertile ground for re-entry into authenticity. Conscious relationships positively encourage it! How? Well we must provide the safety and comfort for each other at all times to allow the emergence of wholeness. It takes a lot of time, encouragement and commitment…have you got what it takes?

3. Two people who are self aware and willing to take responsibility for every action and input into the relationship. ~
Sadly many people have the unconscious view that everything their partner does is either right or wrong and the focus is outside of themselves. They transmit feelings and emotions  without due care of the relationship with a one way focus. When all is going great it’s easy but when conflict strikes all hell often breaks loose as the victim and perpetrator archetypes play out their next scene.
A conscious relationship always asks “what am I doing to create this situation and what can I do to help it get better?” Self awareness IS consciousness. We are constantly aware of the world around us but we randomly select what we do and don’t put our awareness on. I see people in their twilight years who have never chosen self awareness and everyone around them is either too scared to tell them what they need to look at or are worn out from trying. A sad situation and like a diseased cell in the human body! Be self aware…it’s a revelation and a miracle all at once. “The journey of yourself is the most rewarding one you will ever take”, so why spend all the time looking out the window?

4. Two people willing to change unhelpful behaviours. ~
All of our relationships are our mirrors. The way people react to us is a huge directional arrow to where we are at with our behaviour. In your relationship you do need to understand and get a grip of bad behaviour. Change is required. It’s common sense really, otherwise your relationship suffers constant erosion.

5. Two people who use kind communication verbally and physically and who can navigate the waters of conflict with ease. ~
Communication is the life blood of every relationship, period! It is absolutely possible to become authentic and say what you really need to say with kind words and body language.

6. Two people who are educated about relationship dynamics. ~
Do you know about the distinct phases of a relationship and what’s happening in your body during the honeymoon and conflict stages? Are you aware that you choose partners who are designed to bring up your stuff so you can look at it from the past? What conflict style do you take and how does that affect your partner? Are you aware of your relationship space? These and many more things are the important resources of information that must be read and digested in your conscious relationship library.

7. Two people who strive to maintain connection through all relationship weathers. ~
We can all do a great relationships when its’ going well but bad emotional weather will strike at sometime in everyone’s lives because life is always happening as we walk our path together. Life is designed to ebb and flow with the cycles of the Universe and a conscious relationship knows that when things ebb, relationship connection is paramount. It is easy to let life sweep us apart and to be too busy to talk or spend quality time together, but the velvet nature of connection is an elixir. Yes it takes effort but next time you feel like ignoring the relationship because you are too shattered to speak…take a moment to do something appreciative…even if it’s a little note or an “I love you”. Connection is the foundation of a healthy relationship.

8. Two people who are dedicated to allowing the otherness in each other with freedom to grow separately and together.~
Unconscious relationships control and dominate. Conscious relationships know that each person was born separate and “other” and their ultimate goal is to be separately connected not symbiotically connected. Need prevents freedom. Love encourages freedom. But here’s where we come unstuck at this stage in our conscious awakening. I believe intimate relationships are still conditional to hugely varying degrees and so freedom varies accordingly. Allowing freedom to “be and become” is a sore spot for many because there is so much fear about losing love once we are in love. We plant labels like “my girlfriend, my husband” etc. which suggests ownership of the other. Unconscious rules start to develop about what each person should do or not to do in the relationship and a stifle can begin to develop. This part of the conscious relationship recipe, I think, is the toughest, but with tender loving care blended with all of the above we can and will get there!

9. Two people who housekeep their relationship space regularly and are vigilant about nurturing it’s quality.~
Like a walled Garden of Eden, where the children and the animals live, it’s space and quality and energy are critical to the health of a conscious couple. We communicate largely with energy. Have you ever walked into a room and could cut the atmosphere with a knife? Energy always speaks the truth but often underlies the words and actions in a relationship. The conscious couple strives to maintain a peaceful and happy relationship space so the energetic truth matches the spoken words.

10. Two people who know that it is what they give to the relationship rather than what they take from it, that helps them heal and grow. ~
Healing and growth, as I mentioned earlier, is a game for two. You can do all the self development you like but your intimate relationship will trawl up all your unhealed fears, worries and pain from the past. It is designed to do this! Conscious relationships know that it is their job to help the other heal and grow not to take what “I need”. This sets up a beautiful cycle of mutual giving and nurturing which dispels any need to “get my needs met”. Trust me it works…I am living proof. What I have with my beloved is a fertile ground of healing and growth every day. So there you have it. The essential ingredients for a Conscious Union. The only way to love and be loved in these changing times. Open your eyes and look back down the road that you have come from and know that you are fully deserving every day to have a conscious relationship. No matter who you are or what you have experienced you have what it takes to create one. With a dash of self awareness and a tablespoon of willingness to change what needs to be changed, you too can learn to love authentically.

by Gina Hardy
(edited)

http://omtimes.com/2010/12/a-conscious-union-the-ultimate-relationship/

Transforming Sexual Energy~

Transforming Sexual Energy Into Spiritual Energy~~
Sex. It’s the driving force of nature; from the pollination of plants to the biological urge to reproduce in animals and humans alike. It’s therefore not surprising that most of our energy arises from our libido.

For Celebrators of solitude, sex is not a subject that is often discussed. While some Lone Wolves are quite sexually active, others aren’t at all. But there’s a secret force that lurks within your sexual desire that can be used to enhance your life. Few of us know about it.

Sex, essentially, is the essence of creation; from the birth of all life, to the birth of passionate and artistic expression. For centuries man has tried to channel this energy into more fulfilling areas and higher states of consciousness.

Apart from the Tantric and Taoist sexual energy practices, there are countless other references to the hidden powers within sex. The Kabbalah for instance, sees sexual desire as the deepest spiritual expression one can have. And in Yogic philosophy, our pure sexual energy is dormant until awakened in its highest form known as “Kundalini”.

Many esoteric groups also practice something called”Sex Magick”, which can be connected to Psychologist Carl Jung’s notion of sexual alchemy (similar to Freud’s sexual sublimination). This essentially says that, with enough will, we can transform the raw energy from our libidos into golden creativity.

Famous examples of practitioners of this transformation of sexual energy into creativity include Nikola Tesla, Gandhi, Richard Wanger, Dante Alighieri, Beethoven, Homer, Henry Thoreau and Leonardo Da Vinci.

FROM SEX TO INTENSE FOCUS AND CREATIVITY~
As part of your apprenticeship into shamanism you are often required to perform abstinence for prolonged periods of time. In my own experience, I understood this to be an exertion of commitment to the path, a trial in developing will power and focus despite ones natural instincts.

Sex during this stage of your spiritual path can be seen as a distraction, wasting the body’s energy and motivation.

During this time I noticed within me increased amounts of energy, focus and creativity. I was so fascinated by the intensity of these newly aroused qualities that I experimented with them for a few years.

My greatest personal growth occurred during this period of sexual abstinence, as did my deepest inner insights. I also experienced boundless levels of physical energy, and developed a mental focus that has lasted me up to now.

My experience of sexual abstinence has shown me that the admonitions regarding sex in so many spiritual scriptures, aren’t necessarily because sex is innately bad (if it was, none of us would be here!) I believe sex is discouraged because it can be your strongest distraction, your worst enemy that takes away your attention from intensely pursuing your spiritual path of fulfilment.

SEXUAL OVER-INDULGENCE~
As with everything else in our stimulation-seeking modern society, we abuse sex. And this may very well be due to the last few centuries of repression and stigma that has surrounded sex.

Now that sexuality has become more acceptable, however, we naturally react and over-indulge in it, as can be seen in the media, publicity, or the nightclub nearest to you.

You don’t even have to leave the comfort of your own home to witness sexual over-indulgence. The internet has played a big role in revolutionizing our excessive indulgence with; the promotion of masturbation and wastage of sexual energy, the amount of time wasted browsing porn sites, the dehumanization of women and men by teaching us to see them merely as forms of flesh to be used and discarded.

Of course this is not all bad, and the world is never black and white. Pornography also works as a catharsis in the release of built up anxieties, tensions and hysteria as well as a catalyst to explore our sexual guilt and denied sexual thoughts and feelings by learning to embrace more fully our shadow elements in the sexual domain.

However, when motivated by sexual desire, we develop vaster imaginations, courage, will power, persistence and creativity that we weren’t even aware of. Sometimes the sexual energy within us is so strong we are willing to actually die, hurt others or risk imprisonment to fulfil them. Image if we could harness this energy and use it towards other, greater purposes?

HARNESSING YOUR SEXUAL ENERGY~
Having a strong sex drive simply isn’t enough – you must also learn how to use it. Sexual transformation, or transmutation, means changing your energy and thoughts from physical expression to energy and thoughts of another, usually creative, purpose.

Truth is, we are all sexual beings. Period. The path of sexual transformation is not about rapidly indulging sex, denying sex, running away from sex, or even overcoming the desire for sex. It is about accepting sexual drive as part of your nature, as the base notes to your higher symphony. Yes we are sexual beings, but we are more than just that – sexuality is just once aspect of who we are.

I have seen many who feel they should rise “above” their “lower nature” elements, and thus decide to flee from or ignore the sexual elements of their natures, considering them primitive or mediocre. Don’t make this mistake, the mistake of confusing the idea of spirituality with that of escaping or repressing aspects of your authentic being.

I’ve learnt that it is never good to repress anything in life. Repression is another form of postponing, in other words, whatever you repress will eventually catch up to you. Sexual energy cannot be created or destroyed, it can only be transformed.

Sexual experiences are one of our first spiritual experiences in life. It’s that moment in time when we fill ourselves with a calm present awareness, completely absorbed in the now, through a sexual orgasm. I hope this article has shown you that we must embrace the spiritual power that exists within our sexuality, rather than rejecting or throwing it away.~

~Mateo Sol

https://lonerwolf.com/transforming-sexual-energy/

art: Emily Kell

She wants to feel you as Shiva~

“Every moment of your life is either a test or a celebration. The same is true about every moment with your woman, only doubly so. Not only is her simple existence a test for you, but one of her deepest pleasures in intimacy is testing you, and then feeling you are not moved off course by her challenge.

The most erotic moment for a woman is feeling that you are Shiva, the divine masculine: unperturbable, totally loving, fully present, and all-pervading. She cannot move you, because you already are what you are, with or without her. She cannot scare you away, because you already penetrate her in fearless love, pervading her heart and body. She cannot distract you, because your one-pointed commitment to truth will not bend to her wiles. Feeling this hugeness of love and freedom in you, she can trust you, utterly, and surrender her testing in celebration of love.

Until she wants to feel you as Shiva again. And then the testing will begin anew. In fact, it is precisely when you are most Shiva-like that she will most test you.”

~David Deida

Conscious Sex ~

If men understood the value of a well fucked woman they would have no choice but to prioritise their sexual evolution.

If you understood that having a well fucked woman on your side was the formula to succeeding in life, in every realm and every kingdom it would become your religion.

Religiously giving her everything you’ve got, on your knees thrusting in prayer, hymns flowing from her hips to her lips a gospel choir conducted by your conductor, symphonies as sweet as an angels breath written by your caress.

Taking her deeper than the material, the mundane, the physical, undressing her body mind and soul, she is your ticket to success.

The most valuable asset you could ever invest in, your embodied evolution, your sexual consciousness.

She will ooze all over your existence , lusciously dripping warm and melting, lubricating your life, the ease within your flow, the lakshmi to your abundance, the magic behind your power.

A moisturised life, gleaming in the glory of her erotically charged radiance,

The remedy to your everything, a slathered on saviour, the coconut oil of the human variety.

Apply liberally.

Her creative energy that you have assisted in its activation, stirred up within her cauldron, will birth your every dream into reality.

Your conscious cock is like a wizards wand, interacting with her magic to manifest,  co-creating a new world with every breath, pulse and moan.

You have the power to be the god she calls her own. Taking her to heights most holy upon sweaty sheets.

You can be the moon to her tides, eclipsing her preoccupation with the mind.

You can blow the wind into her sails and lift her up high to explore the oceans of the skies, the power in your body vibrating, attuned, refined.

Divorcing her from unconsciousness & reuniting her with the divine, helping her become clarified.

Taking her into timeless trance states where her body lay beneath your own, yet her psyche is in another dimensional time zone, reciting the lyrics straight from gods kiss, a lyrical psychic physicist, delivering wisdom straight from creations mind back in her body for dinner time.

You can be a part of miracles like that on the daily if you desire.

When you heal one of us you heal us all.

Conscious sex is medicine and we are all suffering from our unfilled prescriptions.

We have become diseased from a lack of connection, from ourselves, from each other, from the earth, from the feminine.

Now is time for our reclamation.

If you are into transformation and ignoring your sexuality you are sorely mistaken, our evolution relies on our full bodied and soul integration.~

~Alana Louise May

 

Excerpts from: http://alanalouisemay.com/blog/2016/12/14/conscious-cock-is-medicine

I Want You ~

I want the dangerous-ness of a love so ripe, it transforms every cell of my body.

Subtle, careful, half-hearted loves need not apply.

I want a love that’s as real as the dirt beneath my toes, as glorious as the mossy forest floor, as beautiful as a plump, blushing strawberry.

I want a love that’s ready to get his hands muddy and bare his whole goddamn heart.

I crave a love that’s beautiful because its raw, unpeeled and unafraid of its own roarin’ intensity.

I’m tired of dipping my toes timidly into love’s waters—I want to swim in it, to bask in it—I want it to surround me like a cloud of just-opened wildflowers, like fireworks, like a thrashing ocean of honey.

And love, I want you—

To challenge me.

Lead me right out of my comfort zone,

Rip my bullsh*t to bits,

Look me right in the goddamn eyes,

Water the thirsty buds in my soul with the wild thunderstorms of your beautiful heart.

Drink me up like a cherry-vanilla smoothie

And light me on f*cking fire with your smile.

No half measures, no tiptoeing around the truth, no timid mind games—

Come on, let’s do this—for real.

Subtle, careful, half-hearted loves need not apply.

Don’t hold back.

Take my hand, pull me close, embrace me—not carefully, not subtly—touch me confidently, intentionally, playfully.

Your hand tightly woven in mine, your lips tasting my lips, your fingers stirring the dusty strings of my heart,

My head resting on your neck as we sit on the emerald forest floor,

Our feet sopping wet with dew, laughing ’til the sun tucks itself behind the trees.

Don’t hold back.

Make love to me with the loud passionate bangs of a trombone.

Don’t hold back—

Why ever would you hold back?

Holding back is exhausting, it’s too calculated—it’s bullsh*t.

Don’t hold back.

Tell me everything that’s running through your mind.

Crash on my shores like waves, spill onto my skin, reach into my soul like a vine.

I’ll go off in your arms like a firework—I’ll bloom in your presence like a wild rose.

I want you—

All of you.

Every drop of your presence is required.

I won’t accept anything less.

Don’t hold back.

Take me to Jupiter with that mysterious glint in your eyes,

Let’s land on the edge of the crescent moon, as our bodies dance in glorious ecstasy together.

Let’s inhale together…and exhale,

Together—

Our chests rising and falling to the drumming dance of our excited heartbeats, as we soak up the glistening rays of the afternoon sun filtered through the majestic evergreens.

Don’t hold back.

Kiss me like you mean it—kiss me like you could die tomorrow.

And I’ll look into your eyes like you’re the most fascinating story in the world,

Because you are.

So let’s write this chapter, together—let’s weave these words like ivy and craft them into the budding love of a lifetime.

And let this love scare the sh*t out of us, let it set us madly on fire, let it shake us down to the juicy core

Let this love be the love that slaps us awake

And makes us question

Every damn thing

We thought

Was real.

I want you—all of you.

Every last drop of your presence is required,

I won’t accept anything less.

Don’t hold back.

Subtle, careful, half-hearted loves need not apply.

I want the dangerousness of a love so ripe, it transforms every cell of my body.

~Sarah Harvey

http://www.elephantjournal.com/2016/03/dont-hold-back-poem/

 

Tantric Lingam Massage~

In Tantra, the penis is called the Lingam, which in Sanskrit can be translated as “Wand of Light.” A big part of Sacred Sexuality is learning to love the penis and not be afraid of it.

In Tantra, we connect with our partner on a personal level. We also connect with the universal sexual chi or energy that is in our partner’s body as an energetic life force. One way to do this is through the lingam massage. Yes, this is a fancy name for a hand job. But it’s done with more thoughtfulness, respect, care, and desire to bring selfless pleasure to your partner.

Unlike your average hand job, the lingam massage involves not only massaging and stroking the penis but can also incorporate more advanced techniques, including the testicles, perineum, and the Sacred Spot (aka the prostate) as well.

Lingam is the Sanskrit word for penis and loosely translates to “wand of light.” In Tantra philosophy, we approach the lingam, or penis, from a place of the utmost love and respect, the same way we approach the yoni, or vagina. By bringing a partner pleasure through his “wand of light,” we are filled with that same energy or light in a conscious exchange of energy in giving and receiving pleasure.

Lingam massage is a practice that truly honors a man. We do it to give him pleasure. There is also a tremendous amount of sexual energy or chi in a man’s penis. Learning how to stimulate and circulate it is very powerful.

When I went to India to study Tantra and yoga, I was shocked at first to see statues of the Shiva lingam that represented the God Shiva. For most people, it represents a state of meditation. But for ancient Tantric practitioners, this held a secret meaning: that this powerful God energy was in the man’s body but especially in the penis, which contains the most masculine essence concentrated in one place.

So, to truly have sacred sex, you need to approach the man’s body as a temple and his penis as the most holy place of all.

This isn’t about having one orgasm and being done. Instead, it’s about trying to feel more and more pleasure that will become waves of multiple orgasms throughout the massage.

Here’s how to perform a lingam penis massage on your partner.

For men who want to use this for sacred practice for masturbation and energy cultivation, follow the same instructions yourself.

1. Get him relaxed.

Have your partner lie on his back wherever he is most comfortable. He might like a pillow under his head and/or under his hips. His legs should be spread apart with his knees bent, so you have easy access to all parts of his genitalia. Remind him to breathe deeply. This will assist in a deeper relaxation.

2. Remember to breathe.

Breathing is what separates Tantra from regular sex. While you give your partner the lingam massage, remember to breathe the Bliss Breath: to receive his energy of arousal and pleasure on the inhale and send him loving energy on the exhale.

This special breathing will bring you three benefits:

1. You’ll have a deeper feeling of worship or meditation and mindfulness.

2. It will make you more empathetic to his thoughts and feelings.

3. It will heighten your sexual intuition—you’ll be more aware of what your partner wants without him having to ask.

3. Encourage your partner to breathe deeply.

Before you start the lingam massage, tune into your partner by engaging in the bliss breath together. Just taking a few breaths at the same time will put you both at ease and match your bio-rhythms. While you give him the massage, keep reminding him to breathe deeply, relax, and receive all the good feelings.

4. Lubricate and massage around the penis.

Use your favorite massage oil (I prefer coconut oil because it smells yummy) to oil the shaft of the penis and his testicles. Start by sliding your hands up and down his thighs before getting to the good stuff. This will also make him feel more relaxed. Compliment him on something you like about what you’re seeing and touching.

Move onto the testicles. Gently, slowly massage them. You can use your fingernails gently on his testicles, or pull them slightly. You can also cup them in your hands and fondle them in the palm of your hand.

Massage the area around his testicles and penis (i.e., the pubic bone in the front, the inner part of his thighs, and his perineum—or taint—which is the area between the testicles and the anus).

Be careful with the balls. Men differ greatly as to the kind of touch they like. Some men are more sensitive or ticklish than others. It’s OK to ask him how he likes them touched before you start, or even as you start fondling them.

5. Massage the shaft.

Once you’ve teased the areas around the penis and he’s clearly wanting more, move to the shaft of the penis. Vary your grip from harder to lighter. Vary your stroke sequences between straight up and down and a twisting motion.

Vary the action from one hand to two hands. When using just one hand, alternate between using the right hand and the left hand.

Vary the speed from slow to fast. Start slowly and build up to a faster pace, then take it back to a slow speed again. Keep alternating the pressure, speed, rhythm, and methods.

Also, alternate the shaft strokes to start from the root of the shaft all the way up to the head. Once at the head, you can either continue the straight up and down motion, or you can do the twist—going from the root of the shaft and stopping just below the tip of the penis.

Variety is the key here.

When using two hands, you can do it a few different ways:

1. Both hands hold the penis in the same direction with the fingers pointing the same way.

2. One hand holds the penis facing one way and the other hand faces the other way.

3. Both hands move up and down at the same time. Oil is your friend here. It helps create a smoother, gliding motion.

4. The bottom hand moves up and down while the top hand does a swirling/twisting action at the tip of the penis.

6. Don’t let him climax. Keep him at the edge of orgasm.

By now, he might be very worked up and might want to come. If you are paying close attention to his breathing, how his body is moving, and his moaning, you should be able to predict if he’s nearing orgasm.

When you see him at that edge, pull back on what you’re doing, or just slow it down and remind him to breathe and ride the wave of orgasmic feelings he’s experiencing.

He might go from being rock hard to semi-hard. Don’t worry. That’s what’s supposed to happen.

7. Stimulate the sacred spot externally.

The Sacred Spot is the prostate, which is a walnut-size gland located between the bladder and the penis. When stimulated properly, it is very pleasurable for men.

You can access the prostate either internally (by inserting your fingers or a prostate massage sex toy into the anus) or externally (through massaging the outside without penetration).

If your man isn’t experienced with prostate massage, start externally. To find the sacred spot, look for an indentation somewhere between the size of a pea and a walnut midway between the testicles and the anus. Push gently inward. Be careful to go slowly and let him guide you in terms of pressure.

When you hit the right spot, massage it by pushing in with your fingers or knuckles, then backing off and pushing in again. You can also use a circular massage motion. If he’s especially hairy, use more oil so you can get to the area more easily. Or better yet, ask him if you can shave him for easier access.

8. Stimulate the sacred spot internally.

Ask your man if he’s interested in taking the prostate massage to the next level with an internal massage. If he’s game, you’ll want to loosen up his anus with massage oil. Start by massaging the outside of the anus with your fingers in a slow, smooth, and gentle circular motion. Don’t insert a finger without his permission. Ask if he’s ready for more.

If he is ready for insertion, make sure his anus and your fingers are oiled up. Make sure your nails don’t have any jagged edges. Start by inserting just the tip of one finger at first. Wiggle it back and forth to loosen him up. Once he’s comfortable with that, you can insert your finger(s) more deeply, as the prostate is about 2 to 3 inches inside the anus, closer to the anterior wall of the rectum.

Once there, you can gently caress it by moving your finger from side to side, up and down, or “milking” it with a come hither motion with your finger(s). Ask him how he’s doing as you go. Let him lead.

Prostate massage can sometimes be difficult to do with fingers, which is why so many sex toy companies now sell prostate massagers that you can use when you’re ready to take it to the next level.

9. End the massage.

To end the massage, you can allow him to climax with an ejaculation orgasm or move onto intercourse. If he is practicing semen retention, you can have him hold all his juices as he learns to transmute the orgasm from the genitals into whole body energy orgasms.~

~Psalm Isadora
http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-25591/yes-men-can-have-multiple-orgasms-heres-the-tantric-technique-thatll-make-it.html

 

The Fear of Sexuality~

‘Slut’ is an extremely powerful word, isn’t it?

In four letters we have managed to encapsulate all of the shaming we, as humans, connect with female sexuality.

Of course the shaming of sexuality and sexual freedom is not reserved for just women. Society and culture have tried to control and dictate how we wish to love and our ability as men and women to choose what sort of sex we want.

Think of one of the main questions that guides our selection of partner and is a source of much conflict and insecurity. It has ended, and will continue to end relationships before they have even begun:

”How many people have you been with?”

As men and women, we can both feel the cringe if we’ve had a few “too many” sexual partners when this question pops up. It usually comes out of nowhere over a casual drink or during the post-coital cuddle… right when we thought everything was going soooooo great. Boom.

And we freeze. Why? Because this number carries a lot of weight and judgment.

The answer to this question is enough to say “No” to a wonderful and viable partner. A system taught someone – and those people taught us – that sexuality and our sexual freedom are reflective of our value systems and strength of character.

Amidst all this drama, do we ever really take the time to appreciate that falling for a beautiful heart is rare?!? And that no matter how that heart got in front of us, we should be appreciative?!? If there were a couple of questionable bangs on the way, is that enough to put the brakes on? We should acknowledge that just ONE tiny shift in their history and that person would not be sharing our gaze.

Wow. Deep. Shit.

“Oh wait, you’ve slept with more than seven people?! OMG. You’re basically a parking lot. I can’t date you. I can’t love you.”

If sexuality and sexual freedom brings our character into question, then what do we think about the many wise and amazing human beings who found themselves and learned their lessons through sexual exploration and being open-minded about making mistakes? Do these folks lack character? Does experience really make us wiser? Or is wisdom only reserved for wholesome choices that are approved by religion and the culture police?

This fear of sexuality has very much framed how we look at relationships and the stories we’ve been told about what is “right” and “wrong”.

The very nature of everything, I, and everyone else on this planet, are taught about relationships and love is a stretched and manipulated version of truths.

A little white lie won’t hurt anyone… right?! How about a lot of white lies?

Let me give you some examples:

• Monogamy is the only way

• You need to be married by 30

• You must have kids by 35 (women especially)

• Female sexual freedom is a HUGE NO-NO

• Gay marriage is bad

• Polyamory is shameful

• Every relationship needs to last forever, if they don’t, we are failures

• Divorce is bad

• Being in a relationship is more important than being happy and single

• Sexuality is bad. Discovering your sexuality is worse. And sharing your body with more than one person is immoral. Especially if you’re a woman.

And fear of sexual freedom underpins each and everyone of these beliefs. From the moment of conception, these beliefs are indoctrinated into us through media, religion and culture – all the source of much guilt and shame.

Isn’t it crazy that sex, the very thing that brought us into this world, is the thing we deny most?

And on top of that, we are so afraid of female sexual freedom that we have built systems around controlling it.

But what is the fear of embracing sex?

What is the fear of gay people falling in love and entering the union of marriage?

Is marriage really that sacred?

The divine heterosexuals who rule the institution of marriage are divorcing at a rate of 50% and even those who remain married are often addicted to pornography and are busy perusing the profiles of other married people on Ashley Maddison.

Now don’t get me wrong, marriage is a beautiful thing. There are plenty of people who are happily married, build amazing families, and have wonderful lives. Their lives and way of living are not the issue. I think a conscious partnership is amazing and I can’t wait to build a family with someone special.

The real problem stems from the Ivory Tower of the heterosexual marriage union that seems to be threatened by sexual freedom.

There’s a fear that families, religion, and society, will all come crumbling down around us should we embrace the sexuality born unto us as an innate human right.

It’s inevitable that systems will come crashing down which are built on the foundation of false truths.

The craziest part of the obsession to preserve this pretend world is that we have all been cheating the system and going behind its back anyways.

But it’s ok to cheat the system, isn’t it?! As long as no one is found out, right?

We’re told to hide our unmarried pregnant daughters from our so called “friends” and co-religionists because it will bring shame to the family.

We can’t tell our parents or family about the woman or man we’ve fallen in love with because she/he’s from a different culture or religion.

We reject our children because of their sexual orientation and we scoff at interracial marriage.

We would rather see two people who do not love each other get married to satisfy a system that does not allow them to love on their own terms.

We mutilate female genitalia and shame the feminine desire to explore THEIR bodies. THEIR BODIES! How ridiculous is that?!

All because of what?! To preserve a way of living that does not even embrace the very innate desire for sexual freedom and exploration? One that is not even built on love, kindness and acceptance.

This system seems doomed to fail, does it not?

bondage, slut, sex, relationship advice, dating advice, religion, sexuality

Our innate sexual desire is evident in our engagement of movies and media. The fanfare of “Fifty Shades of Grey” is not because we just like horrible writing and bad acting. It is because it represents our very deepest truth: EACH and EVERY ONE of us has a freak flag. And almost none of us let it fly.

So we become addicted to the porn movies where the (bad) actors are doing everything we wish we were doing.

Is there not a potential danger to ignoring our needs and hiding from our desires?

Absolutely. And the proof is all around us.

What do we think sexual repression manifests as? I don’t need to be a scientist to come to the conclusion that rape, aggression, molestation of children, and fetishes that are hidden in the corridors of Craigslist, are in some way related to the inability for us to just be ourselves.

We are all so afraid to just be who we are. We have bought into a system that is held together by the threat of shame.

Imagine if we all lived by the ACTUAL truth:

There is no one way to do anything. And anyone who claims to have it all figured out is the very person to run from.

Imagine if it was ok for everyone to not know and to search for knowledge through experience. Imagine if we just did the best we could, each and every day.

Imagine if we were told to just play, see, and feel.

To find out what works for US.

Imagine if our mistakes were embraced, and better yet, encouraged!

Imagine if we were taught that by finding out what we do not want it will just further reinforce what we DO want.

Imagine a world where we got to choose and that our choices did not have to be the same as everyone else’s.

That all of our decisions just need to be guided by our human capacity and desire to be kind. If every decision we made were based on the answer to the question:

“What would love do?”

I don’t know everything but I do know this:

You are the expert of you. You know you better than anyone. You know how you love. You know what feels good, and you know what your heart beats for.

You know what you want to try and what you are curious about.

You know what you seek. And the most beautiful thing of all, is that you are not committed to a life sentence because you made a decision when you did not know what you know today.

There is no “right way”. There is only your way. And no one knows your life better than you.

Live YOUR truth.~~

~Mark Groves

http://www.sexyconsciousawake.com/blog/maybe-we-all-need-to-be-a-little-more-slutty/

art: Roberto Ferri

Consciously Awake Women LOVE SEX.~

Consciously Awake Women LOVE SEX.~

Let’s get one thing straight. Women LOVE sex. So, if you ever hear a woman talking about sex like it’s a chore—as if she’d rather vacuum or tidy up the house—she’s having THE WRONG KIND OF SEX.

Contrary to popular belief women are not less sexual than men. We’re wired differently. While many men can get an erection and go from zero to hero in less than five minutes, most women need a whole heck of a lot more than that to feel sexually satisfied. Men, do you want to see your woman’s body convulsing in orgasms? Do you want to hear her screaming roars of ecstasy so loud that the neighbours can hear?

Then listen up: If you want to be the kind of lover that makes your woman never forget you, it’s time to seriously educate yourself on the Art of Sex. This means knowing how to give a woman mind-blowing orgasms—both with your tongue and your, well, Prince Charming.

Women are drawn to capable men who actually care about what they do and how they do it. Have you ever heard the phrase, “You get out what you put in?” It’s true. If you want a good lover, you’ve got to become a good lover yourself. Consciously Awake women need more than physical sex. The physical is only one level. The next level—the level we deeply desire—is energetic. It’s an exploration of connection, energy, passion, and transcendental states. This type of sex is cosmic.

So, if you’re new to the concept of Consciously Awake Sex, I’ll explain quickly. You are more than your physical body. In addition to what you understand as your body (head, arms, feet, organs, etc.), you possess energetic bodies as well. Everyone does. Because of these bodies’ existence, physical sex will only take you so far. It’s surface level with very little depth.

This is the type of sex most everyone is having (if any), as it doesn’t require much skill. Sex is complex. It’s so complex that the idea you know what sex is solely because you can functionally “do it”, leads to mediocre sex. And mediocre sex gets real friggin’ boring after awhile.

This is the type of sex anyone can have. It’s boring. Not everyone has the balls, wherewithal or courage to dive in and learn what it takes to connect energetically with a woman during sex. To experience and explore the depths of another, you have to get beyond the physical and into the other energetic bodies. That’s when you tap into and become the states of ecstasy and pleasure you once thought existed only in dreams.

So, men, if this is what you want: women who crave you sexually and orgasms that shake the walls, then read on. I’m about to hand you the blueprint to what you need to know exactly what Consciously Awake women want sexually from men.

What Consciously Awake Women Want Sexually From Men Emotionally Open Men:

First and foremost: we want, more than anything else in the world, men who live with an open heart. We don’t want men who act like women. We want men who have energy freely flowing through them. Most men are living their lives closed off. And we’ll never be able to experience the energetically connected sex we crave with these types of men. An erection is not enough to make us feel the depth of your energetic being as a man nor connect us to higher planes. We need to feel energy emanating from your body. And this requires you to open your heart. You might be wondering, what the hell does that feel like? It’s electric.

Suddenly we are not just physical bodies anymore. Even though we’re still having a physical experience, we’re also having an energetic experience that expands far beyond our bodies into infinity. Men who are disassociated, depressed, have sexual hang ups, and emotional issues are hard to feel energetically. Although penis size does matter to some degree—especially for women who have caves or tunnels for vaginas—a man, who’s connected to his energy source and his soul, can connect us to the energetic plane.

When two people connect energetically, not just physically, MAGIC happens. Energy pulses and quivers at high vibrational frequencies as it courses through our body making sex a complete body high. Consciously Awake sex transcends basic sex on ALL LEVELS. It’s raw. It’s primal. Men: you must be willing to dive into the fire of your souls. That’s the “how-to” on opening your heart. Therapy and coaching connect you to a deeper purpose. Live from this place.

Passion: Sex is Art A man who has vision sees sex as art. And ladies: you shouldn’t even go out with men who lack vision or creativity. Passionate men cannot be underrated. A man who pursues his desires passionately says far more about him as a lover than you can imagine. We want this type of man. A passionate man who invests himself wholeheartedly into the things he desires to do well.

A passionate lover will have conscious hands. He looks deep into our eyes and connects to every square inch of our bodies. We will feel his energy in his hands. His energy courses its way into our skin, down into our blood, deep into our heart and soul. As a new lover to a woman, you must take time to explore what she (as an individual) wants. Well-trained lovers know she is not like every other woman. They will listen to her pulse, feel the rhythms of her body, and tune-in to her energy.

A man who doesn’t know how to connect to your energetic body cannot produce this level of connection. Connecting energetically requires one to know how to get beyond the surface of physical pleasure into the depth of your being. That kind of access is wooed and seduced, it’s not basic. Men who take pride in the skills they have will take the time, and treat your body like a temple.

These men are the kind of men that understand the alchemy of sexuality. If you are reading this and want to know how to connect to your energy or have Conscious Sex you have to educate yourself in any way possible about this process. There are countless resources online. Don’t just wait for someone to teach you, go figure it out.

Skills: Be the Best Lover You Can Be We have no patience for men who won’t invest their time and resources into understanding what it takes to be an amazing lover. A man who wants to be a good lover will be a good lover. Period. It’s neither mean nor cruel to want our men to be great men and great lovers, especially if we’re doing the work and investing in evolving ourselves. If you want a great lover, you too need to be a great lover.

If you don’t know how, don’t resort to porn. There are too many amazing resources available that will guide you down the rabbit hole of sexuality and love. Seek out what you want to be and experience it fully. All men need to learn how to be good lovers. Remember: knowing how to functionally have sex doesn’t mean you’re a good lover. A true lover is a giver. He also knows how to receive. He explores your body.

He seeks to understand what your body craves. He cares about your pleasure. Reciprocity is the key of being an artful lover. It’s a dance—an exchange of energy that is most balanced in reciprocity.

Variety: Value Different Positions “On top”, missionary, and “from behind” are not the end all-be all of sex. Be creative and adventurous. Learn what your woman loves: which positions work and why. What is she into? If you are adventurous or kinky don’t connect with someone who isn’t. You need to choose lovers that have the same level of openness as you do.

Remember: not all women are created equal. They’re diverse in how they feel. The shape of their vagina will make certain positions more pleasing for some over others. Mix it up. Experiment. Don’t get monotonous. If you have a hard time feeling her out, ASK QUESTIONS. Women like men who know what they are doing. We also like curiosity as it relates to our body.

Touch: Kiss, Feel, Breathe The three golden rules of sex: kiss, feel, and breathe. Kissing is one of the most erotic forms of sexuality and can fuel so much passion between lovers. Kissing alone can unlock energetic bodies. Feel into us. Let us feel your weight and your strength. We aren’t fragile. Let us feel your presence. Breathe. Don’t be in a hurry. Use your breath. Be intentional and connect on a much deeper level. A lot of people don’t have the patience to get beyond the physical. It takes practice and Conscious Awareness to unlock the layers of our bodies we keep blocked most of the time. Kissing, feeling, and breath can help us release the energetic body.

Intimacy: Connected Sex Quickies are fair game… SOME of the time. There’s always a time and a place. But Consciously Awake sex takes time. It takes practice and conditioning. You have to make time. This is sex. And whatever your excuses are for not having it need to disappear if you want to get beyond the mundane. True intimacy is not created while in a hurry. We live in a fast paced world. But that does not extend to us having jack-rabbit-esque speedy sex—or sex that ends with one person busting a nut while the other is left unsatisfied.

In order to connect energetically you have to become intentional with your focus on breath, touch, and kissing. There is healing and sensuality in touch. Don’t be in a hurry. Slowww dowwwwwwwn to get through sex. Let go of the usual focus on achieving orgasm. Slow down. Drop into the ENTIRE EXPERIENCE: the dance, exchange and mixing of energy, the alchemy of two souls aligning in physical ecstasy. Welcome to the realm of energetic and cosmic sex, and the land of multiple orgasms.

Try the Consciously Awake Route. You’ll thank me later. smile emoticon Peace. Love. And LOTS OF HOT CONSCIOUS SEX!

~Kelly Marceau

www.yoganonymous.com/sexy-consciously-awake-women-want-sex/#sthash.xrHRVA5u.dpuf

How to Love a Tigeress~

What is a tigress?

A tigress is a fierce lover who knows her worth.

She has spent time alone. She has spent time in love. She has spent time alone in togetherness. She has discovered who she is and what she desires. She has been left, and she has done the leaving.

She is not afraid to ask for what she needs and deserves. She knows she is worthy of a love that will shake this world.

A tigress does not sabotage her heart. She only has time and space to love in a way that honours her truth and power.

A tigress is not afraid to dare greatly, it is why she loves with her heart stretched wide as the ocean. She will not ask you to prove or show her that you are worthy of her love.

She does not have walls, for boundaries are for those who encompass fear and a tigress will not fear you.

A tigress knows how to be alone. While others may mistake solitude and aloneness for loneliness, she knows the difference.

A tigress is not only fed from the connections of those around her, but by the babble of the brook, howl of the wind and the glow of the moon.

A tigress is here not only be seen, listened to, tasted, touched but to be loved wildly. If you are only desiring of dipping your toes momentarily into love, her heart is not a place for you.

A tigress shows up raw, naked. If you cannot undress your heart before her, keep walking. A tigress doesn’t have time for murky, uncertainty, back and forth, heart games.

Some people spend their entire lives loving to learn they are worthy of a love they desire. A tigress knows she is here to be worshiped.

A tigress drinks the juice of the souls she dances with joyously.

She is sexually empowered and will tell you what she needs, how to bend, twist, stroke and love her.

A tigress knows that the greatest measurement of courage is vulnerability. She will be ferociously soft and love you with sweet, open might.

A tigress will never try and control you. She is confident that you can manoeuvre through this life on your own.

A tigress is strong enough to ask for support, and to support you. She will carry your mountain and her own under the burning sun without buckling and she is strong enough to ask you to carry her when she is weak.

A tigress may throw you off—stumbling, with her forwardness, openness, accountability and authenticity. She will be there to catch you if you want to fall with her. She will let you go if you want to fall away from her.

A tigress loves transparently.

A tigress calls lovers who challenge her. Daily, minute to minute, moment to moment. A tigress is not afraid to see your shit and challenge you. She is desiring and deserving of the same.

A tigress does not waste time loving those who do not know her worth.

She is strong enough to hear you. Strong enough to hold a space to exist, speak and love freely.

A tigress knows she is in love when she no longer looks over her shoulder. If you are looking over your shoulder constantly, she will leave you.

She is strong enough to show up in the heat, sweat with you and let go when it is no longer serving of her power.

A tigress is strong enough to walk away first, and to kiss you softly and let go if you leave before she is ready.

A tigress will love you unwaveringly. She will walk before you, hold you in her eyes and show up for you each day you walk beside each other.

~Janne Robinson

http://www.elephantjournal.com/…/how-to-love-like-a-tigress/